Hehe..just change the concept of my blog, the skin and the song... I like my blog now... even though the pic can be made a little bit bigger... but anyway it is fine this way... hehehe.. and I really like the song... hahaha... the precious one "Journey" is not too bad too.. but this song is nice too.. fickle minded.. like every single thing.. hahaha... I stole this song from my darling's blog.. hahahah.. copycat... hehehe
Anyway it is raining now... justsuddenly thought of coming up and saying how sweet I feel now.. hehehehe... I know I am the envy of many frenz around me.. hahaha... sorrie guys to make u all so jealous always... but I am a ger sweetly in love... pampered and loved by my precious darling... I think we treasure each other alot...
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Feeling Lonely...
Just saw my dear sms that he will be going down to Blk 19 to drink with Ah Gong and Alex... then gave him a call and he is already at the coffeeshop drinking... not sad that he is drinking though although in fact being down with a terrible stomachache and on medication, he shouldn't drink at all... just suddenly felt that pinch of loneliness suddenly... I have no idea why... I mean ever since we started this relationship other than those days when I am in Korea, we haven't been really apart from one another... in fact we met up everyday.. even though it might be for a short period of time when he just come and fetch me home from work... but still we spend everyday together... actually I am not supposed to be meeting him today but in the end he still come and fetch me off work.. But I just felt sad that I cannot accompany him to Blk 19 to drink... maybe not drink but just being besides him is enough... then I cannot talk to him also.. time spent with him is always not enough.. so bad until we dun even dare to let ourselves fall asleep at night scaring that the night will just flew past and mrning will come within the next min...
I think I have become too dependant on him in my life... which is good.. because I nv wanna to be that independant anyway.. and my darling said the more dependant I am on him the better... hahaha.. good enough... we go out together always.. including gatherings with frenz... everything.. nothing is missed without each other by the side other than when I go out with my family and at work... hahaha.. can't help it really... when we are not together I missed all the moments when we are together... sad case....
A quick update for my birthday.. hehehe...
on the 19th me and dear we went to Wenliang's wedding at Sun Plaza.. so sweet to see him and Tammy together married as a couple.. hehe.. too bad I have to attend my school graduation.. if not I would have joined the guys in the morning session.. hahha.. anyway I rushed down in a cab after my graduation ceremony and luckily I managed to reach there in time before the dinner starts... met up with JX, Ah Xiong, Wenlin, Maggie, Peiling, Litque, Ah B, LiYan, YingYao, Jinlong, Weijie.. oh my god the list is nv ending becoz we have 3 full tables to our entire gang.. hahaha... then the next thing U know Wenlin and Junxian start drinking with Derrick's table... wah.. Martell, Bacardi 151... (70+% alcohol level for your info... do U know how serious that bottle of hard liquer can be.. ppl are crazy I tell you.. they drink it nik somemore... crazy fellows..).. me and my dear we sat quietly by the side.. pretending to be in our own world hoping that noone will ask us to drink.. hahaha... I pretended to be super busy talking to Maggie... which in fact I am busy talking to Maggie really.. ehhe Dear pretended to be busy accompanying me, taking photos even though he is not the appointed main photographer, smoking and going out to take additional Martell from the car and going to the toilet.. hahaha.. then the night went past and Wenlin starts to get a bit rowdy... Junxian and Chris face become super red.... but they insist they are not drunk.. after drinking like one full glass of Martell and Baracardi 151 nik.. no ice at all.. anyway I shall give both of them the benefit of the doubt.. hahaha... then later when the wedding is over, dear is the driver for the wedding car and he very much wanted to drive me to WenLiang house together in the Mercedes.. hahaha.. but too bad there wasn't any chances and he got quite a bit disappointed and pissed abt it.. hahaha.. relax dear.. I am alright.. in the end all thanks to Litque who drove me to Wenliang house to meet up with my dear.. along the way me, Peiling and Liyan was talking non stop.. and dear told me Ah B commented the next day that 3 of us together become the United Nations.. hahaha... talk non stop... hahaha.. anyway after that Litque dropped me and dear off at his blk and we went back home... then his auntie dragged me out of bed and the room to sit in the living room to chit chat and watched a toopidz show which make no logic on TV.. hahaha... then we slept.. yah I was too tired.. I remember I forced himm to sang me a birthday song.. hahaha.. But i did mention that I am very fortunate... hehe
then the next mrning came.. we were still sticking to one another when I am supposed to be making my way home becoz mum wanna to go to IMM.. in the end went home, shower, went out to IMM for dinner then came back home.. that was it.. that is my birthday for this year.. i told my dear I dun need any birthday present but yet he went back to get a bear for me.. hehe.. so sweet of him.. then I went back office the next day and there was tons of presents on my office table.. a bouquet of flowers, sweets, a bottle of wishing star.. thanks to my collegues eh... Sharifah I know you will be reading this sometimes.. hahaa
I think I have become too dependant on him in my life... which is good.. because I nv wanna to be that independant anyway.. and my darling said the more dependant I am on him the better... hahaha.. good enough... we go out together always.. including gatherings with frenz... everything.. nothing is missed without each other by the side other than when I go out with my family and at work... hahaha.. can't help it really... when we are not together I missed all the moments when we are together... sad case....
A quick update for my birthday.. hehehe...
on the 19th me and dear we went to Wenliang's wedding at Sun Plaza.. so sweet to see him and Tammy together married as a couple.. hehe.. too bad I have to attend my school graduation.. if not I would have joined the guys in the morning session.. hahha.. anyway I rushed down in a cab after my graduation ceremony and luckily I managed to reach there in time before the dinner starts... met up with JX, Ah Xiong, Wenlin, Maggie, Peiling, Litque, Ah B, LiYan, YingYao, Jinlong, Weijie.. oh my god the list is nv ending becoz we have 3 full tables to our entire gang.. hahaha... then the next thing U know Wenlin and Junxian start drinking with Derrick's table... wah.. Martell, Bacardi 151... (70+% alcohol level for your info... do U know how serious that bottle of hard liquer can be.. ppl are crazy I tell you.. they drink it nik somemore... crazy fellows..).. me and my dear we sat quietly by the side.. pretending to be in our own world hoping that noone will ask us to drink.. hahaha... I pretended to be super busy talking to Maggie... which in fact I am busy talking to Maggie really.. ehhe Dear pretended to be busy accompanying me, taking photos even though he is not the appointed main photographer, smoking and going out to take additional Martell from the car and going to the toilet.. hahaha.. then the night went past and Wenlin starts to get a bit rowdy... Junxian and Chris face become super red.... but they insist they are not drunk.. after drinking like one full glass of Martell and Baracardi 151 nik.. no ice at all.. anyway I shall give both of them the benefit of the doubt.. hahaha... then later when the wedding is over, dear is the driver for the wedding car and he very much wanted to drive me to WenLiang house together in the Mercedes.. hahaha.. but too bad there wasn't any chances and he got quite a bit disappointed and pissed abt it.. hahaha.. relax dear.. I am alright.. in the end all thanks to Litque who drove me to Wenliang house to meet up with my dear.. along the way me, Peiling and Liyan was talking non stop.. and dear told me Ah B commented the next day that 3 of us together become the United Nations.. hahaha... talk non stop... hahaha.. anyway after that Litque dropped me and dear off at his blk and we went back home... then his auntie dragged me out of bed and the room to sit in the living room to chit chat and watched a toopidz show which make no logic on TV.. hahaha... then we slept.. yah I was too tired.. I remember I forced himm to sang me a birthday song.. hahaha.. But i did mention that I am very fortunate... hehe
then the next mrning came.. we were still sticking to one another when I am supposed to be making my way home becoz mum wanna to go to IMM.. in the end went home, shower, went out to IMM for dinner then came back home.. that was it.. that is my birthday for this year.. i told my dear I dun need any birthday present but yet he went back to get a bear for me.. hehe.. so sweet of him.. then I went back office the next day and there was tons of presents on my office table.. a bouquet of flowers, sweets, a bottle of wishing star.. thanks to my collegues eh... Sharifah I know you will be reading this sometimes.. hahaa
Thursday, November 17, 2005
Blew it baby.
Ok I just blew it baby... just blew everything........ blew the perfect relationship by making things complicated, by saying the wrong things, by doing the wrong things... am I too late for regrets... I bet so.... but I so regretted telling my dear stuffs that I shouldn't have.. maybe by keeping to myself things will forever remain perfect in our relationship... there wun be any scars and there wun be any complications........I know you simply hate hearing his name... and anything that got to do with him and my past.. but but I wanna to be truthful.... I dun wan to hide anything from my dear....... I promise him I will tell him everything.... I promise him we will work things out together...... I promise him I will be truthful.... but maybe I shouldn't have say it for the sake of the relationship and for the sake of my dear's feelings......... why didn't I learn my mistakes from the past.... I simply hate myself to this point of time...
Maybe we just care too much about each other... like what my dear say maybe we are too serious about each other....
To my dear...
Dear I love ya... U know it deep within your heart.... nothing will affect my true love for you.... nothing at all.... so you dun have to think or worry too much really.... I know there will be a scar in your heart with regards to what we spoke about yesterday but that is not the problem... nothing is a problem as long as me and you we are willing to work things out... I am so sorry I spoilt the perfect relationship in your mind and make things complicated...I know things have been going sweetly until now....until I brought up the issues... I didn't meant to.. please forgive me for my ignorance and recklessness....
Maybe we just care too much about each other... like what my dear say maybe we are too serious about each other....
To my dear...
Dear I love ya... U know it deep within your heart.... nothing will affect my true love for you.... nothing at all.... so you dun have to think or worry too much really.... I know there will be a scar in your heart with regards to what we spoke about yesterday but that is not the problem... nothing is a problem as long as me and you we are willing to work things out... I am so sorry I spoilt the perfect relationship in your mind and make things complicated...I know things have been going sweetly until now....until I brought up the issues... I didn't meant to.. please forgive me for my ignorance and recklessness....
Thursday, November 10, 2005
Happenings..
Ok I haven't update my blog for a very long time... short summary then I am going to sleep le.. so late.. tomolo still got meeting cum presentation plus a fire drill.... in which I have to evacuate the entire building.. hahaha.. ask them to fook off liao... I shall be the first to evacuate myself.. hahahaha.... humans are selfish...
Been rather busy recently.. been through some ups and downs over the week due to work... as usual... being the responsible me.. usually is the work till u die type in which ppl always like to exploit and bully...
Took one day leave on Wed 9th November becoz it is my darling's birthday.. hehehe... spent half of the day lazing around in bed... bcoz we are both very tired.. and we can't just get enough of cuddling and hugging each other.. hahhahaha... but the remaining half of the day was spoilt after receiving a call from work becoz I can't get quite get my mind off work after that.. then went to GINZA with JX, Leon, Shi An and dear dear to get some drinks.. and meet some ladies Maggie & Ash.. hehehehe... things didn't went really well there as usual.. and i was practically waiting for my HP to ring the entire night... which it didn't but I got into a big fight with my mum becoz Cindrella didn't manage to reach home before 12 midnight.. damn it...
Then over the last weekend, dear dear had a chalet at Downtown East to celebrate his birthday.. and he got drunk... and he spoke tons of rubbish... hahahaha... first time I see him drunk... although I have seen Leon and Shi An drunk too many times.. seeing my dear drunk was a totally different case.. in the end.. he went to sleep without his own knowledge abt 10+ and I stayed up until 5am in the morning drinking with his frenz... WenLIn, Ah Xiong, Jinlong and JX.. Huiqi and Ying Yao + Chris dropped by later in the night.. very late in fact when everyone has already pi in bed.. hahaha.. Jim Bean, Volka, Jack Daniel, Beer... woo hoo.. hahaha it is back to the OZ days.. hahaha... but we all had fun.. hehehe... too bad Leon didn't manage to come... the next day his uncle and whole family came down to BBQ then i got to make my way home.. sianz...
Ok till here... I think I got to go back and chit chat + entertain 3 gay guys...hahaha... take care...
Been rather busy recently.. been through some ups and downs over the week due to work... as usual... being the responsible me.. usually is the work till u die type in which ppl always like to exploit and bully...
Took one day leave on Wed 9th November becoz it is my darling's birthday.. hehehe... spent half of the day lazing around in bed... bcoz we are both very tired.. and we can't just get enough of cuddling and hugging each other.. hahhahaha... but the remaining half of the day was spoilt after receiving a call from work becoz I can't get quite get my mind off work after that.. then went to GINZA with JX, Leon, Shi An and dear dear to get some drinks.. and meet some ladies Maggie & Ash.. hehehehe... things didn't went really well there as usual.. and i was practically waiting for my HP to ring the entire night... which it didn't but I got into a big fight with my mum becoz Cindrella didn't manage to reach home before 12 midnight.. damn it...
Then over the last weekend, dear dear had a chalet at Downtown East to celebrate his birthday.. and he got drunk... and he spoke tons of rubbish... hahahaha... first time I see him drunk... although I have seen Leon and Shi An drunk too many times.. seeing my dear drunk was a totally different case.. in the end.. he went to sleep without his own knowledge abt 10+ and I stayed up until 5am in the morning drinking with his frenz... WenLIn, Ah Xiong, Jinlong and JX.. Huiqi and Ying Yao + Chris dropped by later in the night.. very late in fact when everyone has already pi in bed.. hahaha.. Jim Bean, Volka, Jack Daniel, Beer... woo hoo.. hahaha it is back to the OZ days.. hahaha... but we all had fun.. hehehe... too bad Leon didn't manage to come... the next day his uncle and whole family came down to BBQ then i got to make my way home.. sianz...
Ok till here... I think I got to go back and chit chat + entertain 3 gay guys...hahaha... take care...
Friday, November 04, 2005
Feelings...
Sometimes feelings are just hard to control....
My mum thinks I fall too easily in love.... any guys who treat me well enough.. I will fall in love with him... I have to agree.. it is way too easy to fall in love with someone.. but there might be a possibility that U will get hurt in the end when U realise that that love is just a one sided viewpoint in a two sided relationship.. like what people always say.. it is hurtful to fall in love with someone who dun love you.... it is of course nice to find someone who love you, who is willing to give up everything for you... but however U wun be able to appreciate and accept that love.. becoz if you have no feelings for that person... you have no chemistry... it will just be a gift if both of U goes into a relationship with one party loving another with all his/her heart but one party simply meaning thank you for loving me.... Eternal love comes from true love... both parties love each other on the same level... they share the same thoughts, same sentiments, same ideals, same goals.. as one entity.. not two seperate entities...
Everyone must be thinking "wah Christina just fall out of love, out of a long term relationship which she once thought as eternal love and now she is happily in love again"... but like I just said... feelings sometimes are just hard to say and hard to control... I know I haven't know my dear for a very long time... we are not one of those frenz like leon in which we know each other for like 8 yrs and then we get together... surprise to say we barely know each other for like a week... hahahaha... but from the very first time we met up and talked heart to heart at the jetty.. we both know we are the one for each other... we both know the feelings between us will lead to something different in the future... we both know there is something special between us... surely not looks attraction becoz we both dun loook very handsome and pretty anyway... but it is just that different feeling..... hard to describe and hard to say... but we fell hopelessly in love... identifying each other to be the one whom we wan to share a future with... and you know sometimes we dun even have to talk but I know he know we both know we share the same thoughts, the same feelings... it is like our hearts and our minds seems to be as one... I dun have to repeat many times that I love him to tell him how much I truly love him from the bottom of my heart.. I know he know I really love him alot... that love dun have to be expressed to be make known... becoz that strong love... I have no idea how to put it into words... and I dun need him to repeat himself umpteen times a day how much he love me.. becoz I also know he truly love me too... every single min of the day I know he know we truly missed each other and we are both truly looking forward to the time we see and meet each other.... I know he know we both wan to spend every single min of the day with each other... sometimes i think it is just so blissful to have him by my side.. and he thinks the same way too... to have him to share every single min of my life...
In the past I have no idea what my other party is thinking... I have to guess I have to ask I have to probe... I have unconfirmed doubts.... but it is just so different with him.... even our uncertainty about each other are the same... we are both unsure if this is just one of God tricks on us and will our relationship ever last... that feeling will always exist in our relationship but hey that exists in every relationship.... even after couples get married.... we dun have to make our feelings known to each other becoz we know we both share the same thoughts and we both know each other will understand what we are truly thinking... we are as one....
Therefore I say yah I know i fall too easily in love but when the feeling is there.. sometimes chances are for you to take before it become an opportunity.. before it become reality... if you dun catch the chance when it is there for you.. you nv know what you are missing for life... I am glad he come into my life and I am just glad I follow my feelings and make it into reality... even though it might seem a bit reckless... even though I might get myself hurt and upset in the end... at least I took my bet and wun ever regret it in the future...
My mum thinks I fall too easily in love.... any guys who treat me well enough.. I will fall in love with him... I have to agree.. it is way too easy to fall in love with someone.. but there might be a possibility that U will get hurt in the end when U realise that that love is just a one sided viewpoint in a two sided relationship.. like what people always say.. it is hurtful to fall in love with someone who dun love you.... it is of course nice to find someone who love you, who is willing to give up everything for you... but however U wun be able to appreciate and accept that love.. becoz if you have no feelings for that person... you have no chemistry... it will just be a gift if both of U goes into a relationship with one party loving another with all his/her heart but one party simply meaning thank you for loving me.... Eternal love comes from true love... both parties love each other on the same level... they share the same thoughts, same sentiments, same ideals, same goals.. as one entity.. not two seperate entities...
Everyone must be thinking "wah Christina just fall out of love, out of a long term relationship which she once thought as eternal love and now she is happily in love again"... but like I just said... feelings sometimes are just hard to say and hard to control... I know I haven't know my dear for a very long time... we are not one of those frenz like leon in which we know each other for like 8 yrs and then we get together... surprise to say we barely know each other for like a week... hahahaha... but from the very first time we met up and talked heart to heart at the jetty.. we both know we are the one for each other... we both know the feelings between us will lead to something different in the future... we both know there is something special between us... surely not looks attraction becoz we both dun loook very handsome and pretty anyway... but it is just that different feeling..... hard to describe and hard to say... but we fell hopelessly in love... identifying each other to be the one whom we wan to share a future with... and you know sometimes we dun even have to talk but I know he know we both know we share the same thoughts, the same feelings... it is like our hearts and our minds seems to be as one... I dun have to repeat many times that I love him to tell him how much I truly love him from the bottom of my heart.. I know he know I really love him alot... that love dun have to be expressed to be make known... becoz that strong love... I have no idea how to put it into words... and I dun need him to repeat himself umpteen times a day how much he love me.. becoz I also know he truly love me too... every single min of the day I know he know we truly missed each other and we are both truly looking forward to the time we see and meet each other.... I know he know we both wan to spend every single min of the day with each other... sometimes i think it is just so blissful to have him by my side.. and he thinks the same way too... to have him to share every single min of my life...
In the past I have no idea what my other party is thinking... I have to guess I have to ask I have to probe... I have unconfirmed doubts.... but it is just so different with him.... even our uncertainty about each other are the same... we are both unsure if this is just one of God tricks on us and will our relationship ever last... that feeling will always exist in our relationship but hey that exists in every relationship.... even after couples get married.... we dun have to make our feelings known to each other becoz we know we both share the same thoughts and we both know each other will understand what we are truly thinking... we are as one....
Therefore I say yah I know i fall too easily in love but when the feeling is there.. sometimes chances are for you to take before it become an opportunity.. before it become reality... if you dun catch the chance when it is there for you.. you nv know what you are missing for life... I am glad he come into my life and I am just glad I follow my feelings and make it into reality... even though it might seem a bit reckless... even though I might get myself hurt and upset in the end... at least I took my bet and wun ever regret it in the future...
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
Shocking Decision
Roughly half a year ago, I made a shocking decision that shocked & surprised many around me... My family such as my aunties & uncles, my cousins and my grandparents especially my grandmother, my friends especially those from UNI, my poly classmates... and some other frenz from outside... some close frenz saw it coming... they predicted and expected it.. therefore when I made the final decision, they saw it as a relief... hahahaa... there are always two extremes to things isn't it??
Everyone thought I will be the first one to get married, in fact everyone thought I will be getting married soon.. they are just all waiting for the wedding invitation.. everyone thought we are the perfect couple... surprise surprise... it turns up to be directly opposite.. how bad can I be in the eyes of many for making that shocking and hurting decision right?? But love is not that simple... after all...
This month... I bet I make another shocking decision... when frenz saw new photos appearing on my Friendster profile of me and my new bf... I think some frenz took it really hard... I can't blame them for it... I really can't.. I know exactly what they are thinking... given me their position.. I might have think the same way too.. infact I might even get quite irritated over it... so I can't blame them for whatever they choose to think....
me and my dear we have a nice talk at the jetty yesterday.. I am so glad we share the same sentiments on things... I am just so glad that he is able to understand me so well... and give me his full support and trust in whatever i do... I really hope this time i make the right decison....
Everyone thought I will be the first one to get married, in fact everyone thought I will be getting married soon.. they are just all waiting for the wedding invitation.. everyone thought we are the perfect couple... surprise surprise... it turns up to be directly opposite.. how bad can I be in the eyes of many for making that shocking and hurting decision right?? But love is not that simple... after all...
This month... I bet I make another shocking decision... when frenz saw new photos appearing on my Friendster profile of me and my new bf... I think some frenz took it really hard... I can't blame them for it... I really can't.. I know exactly what they are thinking... given me their position.. I might have think the same way too.. infact I might even get quite irritated over it... so I can't blame them for whatever they choose to think....
me and my dear we have a nice talk at the jetty yesterday.. I am so glad we share the same sentiments on things... I am just so glad that he is able to understand me so well... and give me his full support and trust in whatever i do... I really hope this time i make the right decison....
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