Sometimes I really wish I can just give up my life in Singapore, move to some island paradise near the beach where noone know me and start a brand new life over again... maybe this way I can find the real me... maybe this way I can make new frenz who identify with the true Christina.... this way I dun have to compromise myself anymore... to be what I don't think I am... maybe this way I will be happier than now... when I am compromising myself to please everyone around me....
I have a complicated history but without those I will nv be who I am now... I have been bad once... smoke, take drugs.. (only once as a trial), fight, participate in gangs and illegal gatherings.... a very rebellious me who is completely unfilial to my parents... who talk back at them and even fight back... who totally dun listen to anyone's advice.. but I have changed for the better.... I have come to my senses... and those experiences have taught me how to become a better person... and now I respect my parents and eldery seniors even more...
A fortune teller once told me... my entire life.. I will always be taking care of ppl... but ppl seldom take care of me... and I will have alot of peach blossoms (tao hua) in my life.. which is true.. I am not pretty, have no figure.. but there are alot of memorable relationships in my life until now... 3 most significant... one when I was abt 15... with this guy called HuiQiang.. frankly.. I believe I am seriously in love with him at that point of time... it is a very draggy relationship... break and patch for many times in 3 yrs... also the first guy that I brought to show my parents.. which shows how important he is in my heart.. even though I dun think he feel the same way for me too... the first guy who gotten beaten up for me.. and the first guy that I got beaten up for... damn funni thinking back.. but even until now.. I still hope to be able to meet up with him one day... just to know what have he been doing nowadays.. still living a rotten lifestyle or maybe he has also changed for the better after coming out from boys' home. I dated a guy named Eugene who is 29yrs old when I am abt 19... older than me by 10 yrs old... he got along great with my parents surprisingly... but the relationship was short.. only lasted for 2 weeks... although we maintained contact after that... I remembered when he broke up with me for no reasons at all... my mum hugged me and cried with me.... all along I know he is nv serious with me anyway... then there was this guy called Eric.. who I dated and worked with in Canto for abt half a yr... he took great care of me.. and my relationship with him was the very first long steady relationship that lasted over a yr... his mum liked me alot.. always ask me to go over and cook nice food for me.. she know what I like to eat.. and for a period of time.. I stayed over every night... but I really dunno why I liked him and how the relationship can be managed for so long.. looking back he is totally not the guy I would ever dreamt myself to be with... then come Adrian.. my current bf.. we used to be so close at the beginning really... I missed those times but as years flies by.. things started changing.. maybe I am the only one that changes... or as we start to find out more about each other's personality and more importantly faults.. that is why the relationship starts to go downslope... it can nv be the same can it?
