Check up @ 39 weeks

Went for the last baby check up on Monday.. since my estimated due date is on 3rd May...

Did a CTG scan for baby heartbeat as well as my contraction rate. baby heartbeat is normal.. I am having contractions at about 15 mins interval..

Went to see doc after the CTG scan... she then proceeded to check if I will go into natural labour by myself within the period of this week.. and the results was quite disappointing... doc said that baby is quite high up.. apparently it hasn't even dropped into the pelvis yet... and my cervix is not diluted enough... only a fingertip she said... not satisfactory at all.. so she estimated I will most probably pass my due date and will most probably need help in terms of an induction... haiz... to think that I have been trying to avoid an induction for soooo long, previously because baby might be overweight and too big for me to give birth naturally and now in the end after waiting soo long, the result is still the same.. I will still have to go for induction..


Anyway Rick is right.. as long as mother and baby are safe... everything else doesnt matter... why even worry about the birth method as long as the baby comes into this world safety.. true...

I am trying to walk more, relax more and keep myself in a upright position more often in order to encourage the baby to drop into the pelvis.. hopefully it will work... however all the walking is freaking tiring..! I can barely stand/walk for like 5 mins before I start panting for breath, get a terrible backache and a urge to sit down to rest.. lousy me.. not sure if it is my stomach or just the entire body trying very hard to cope with the heavy weight..

The pressure is on...me.....

I dunno why am I feeling this way...

But with soooo many people such as colleagues, neighbours, aunties, uncles, relatives, grandmas asking the question of when am I going to give birth every single day... I suddenly feel like the pressure is on me to deliver and perform..

Not deliver the baby.. but deliver a promise of a cute little chubby baby boy who everyone want to see or go ooomph over... it is like everyone is on standby to see the baby and criticize him... oh he is sooo cute.. oh he has so much or so little hair... oh his hands are so chubby... oh he has a birthmark... and the list goes on... he will become the main conversation topic of everyone... grandma to auntie... auntie to uncle... auntie to auntie... and neighbour to neighbour.. everyone will be going "did you see her baby.... he has this this this or that that that..."

And inside my brain there are thousands of "what if..." going on...but noone else seem to have thought of the "what if..." except me... everyone seem to think that by the time I deliver, they will see a cute little chubby baby.. and that's it.

I know I am jus thinking too much and I know I need to relax.. but as the day get closer, my thoughts just started snowballing.. and now it is at its ultimate peak where I can't help but fall into the deep valley of anxiety and frustration... I have been carrying the baby for 39 weeks now and now the happiness of looking forward to a baby seems to have turned into distress.. and expectations has risen so high that I am not sure if I myself can deliver.... or maybe those expectations are put in place by me myself.. I dunno... it jus seem like I and many others have a set of expectations for the baby that I need to fulfill and I am jus worried I might not be able to reach them... that's all

Neh Neh Ni Bo Bo

Baby Gerald is saying to Mummy "Neh Neh Ni Boo Boo.. I am not going out! Nooooooo..!!Very comfortable here in mummy's tummy...Hehehee"

Very clever boy.. haven't come out already know how to play peek-a-boo with mummy...

Gave me a scare yesterday and after that scare, I suddenly realised actually I am quite afraid myself!!! I have no idea what to expect! I keep repeating to myself that I have to go to hospital if I start bleeding, if my water bag breaks or if I am really in pain.. (regardless of the timing... becoz by right there should be a timing of contractions every 5 mins)

Already the last week le... hmm.. even my mum said it's time... when I called her yesterday in panic mode telling her about the symptoms that I am experiencing.. Before today, I would have nv thought I would have come sooo far... I kept telling my mum I have a gut feeling I will give birth early.. apparently not now!

Haiz.. supposed to go out for a walk yesterday.. in the end didnt.. becoz of the false contractions... wasted my sunday.. damnz! Going for the last baby check up today at 7.40pm... I should be able to get a more exact date on when baby is due...

False contractions

Today went though almost 6 hours of un-comfort... similar to menses pain... thought I was going through first stage of labor.. in the end after 6 hours.. the pain just vanished... duhz... actually it is jus false contractions... haiz..

Longing to get out and go on a holiday...

It's been 2 weeks since I started working from home.. last week was still okay despite my computer being down for consecutive 2 days on Thurs and Fri.. Went out on Mon for baby checkup and then went out for waxing on Wed.. so somehow last week seems to pass much easier.. This week was terrible.. other than going for my check up on Mon... and a night car ride ard north on Tues.. I practically didn't step out of my house at all!

And the boredom is really starting to get on my nerves... SCV dun seem to be showing anything interesting.. none of the dramas seem captivating enough... the games are getting boring... work dun seem to be much of a joy... although I thank god that I still have work.. but I seriously long to go out for a walk... go shopping or even better go for a holiday... I am sooo sick of being stuck at home.. and all I see day in day out is my TV, my monitor and my mother in law... although it's true that at this point of time, I could barely stand/walk for more than 15 mins before I feel a slight lower backache and numbness in my legs as they tried very hard to support the weight of my body + my huge tummy... but still I jus long to get out...

Rick did suggest that I take a slow walk to the market about 10 - 15 mins away for lunch with my mother in law but my mother in law didnt like the idea.. and insisted that she can buy stuffs for me, should I need any... I think Raymond is right... sometimes you can't help but to ask when is the baby coming out?? Ada is flying off to Venice tonight and thinking back, I havent gone for a nice good holiday since Redang? That was ages ago! Like coming to a year... goodness... when can I go for a holiday again??

I think baby can feel my emotions because he is kicking/moving inside me now.. hah.. anyway it is jus the boredom that's getting into me... maybe I am starting to imagine things...or thinking too much... especially since I am not getting enough slp at night... and having aches here there and everywhere... things just seem to be at a standstill right now..

11 more days to go!

11 more days to go!!! OMG!!!! It's getting closer.... moving into single digits countdown... 10, 9, 8, 7.... arghhh!!..

Dunno why I am argghing.. hahaha.. dunno whether I am scared or excited.. mixed emotions...

Thoughts are running through my mind everyday. How do I know I am due, will it be contractions, water bag breakage or a bloody show, how do I differentiate between real and false contractions, will my water bag break when I am outside, will it be in the day or at night while I am sleeping, will Rick be around when I am going into labour to send me to hospital, should I call Rick to come home and send me to hospital if he is at work or should I take a cab to hospital myself and meet him there.."

Nowadays everyone around me is like on standby... I accidentally missed call my dad the other day and he called back frantically asking if I have already given birth... dohz -_-" it is so funny... hahaha

The doc asked me during the check up on Monday if my stomach is starting to feel very heavy.. seriously other than turning left and right in bed, I have pretty well grown used to my tummy! On one end I envy Paola coz she dun have to play the waiting game any longer... whereas I am still waiting here! But I think my mum is right.. better enjoy the times now that baby is still inside.. at least he wun cry or scream on top of his voice.. the most he can do is hiccups and move his limbs... hahaha.. so yup I am enjoying these last moments with him inside my tummy...

Look at how big my baby is right now!

Check up @ 38 weeks

Went for my 38 weeks check up appt yesterday...

Baby is now 3.1kg... there is enough amniotic fluid surrounding the baby to keep it safe... the doc advised that in the previous doc appt, she did a swap and found some fungal infection around my vagina area.. which she then gave medicine for.. other than that, everything is fine!

Next week appt the doc is going to do an examination to determine if my baby will come earlier or later than my estimated date of 3rd May... can't wait till then...

So meanwhile the waiting game continues..

My baby cot

My baby cot (before)

My baby cot (after)



Don't you think the baby cot looks much nicer with decoration?? Haha.. I am so damn pleased with myself..

Ugliness of pregnancy...

I have stretchmarks all over my tummy.. the whole tummy... even on my thighs..

And today while looking at my side view in the mirror... I noticed cellulite marks on my butt and my thighs!!! Arghh...

I am going to be damn ugly after my pregnancy sia.. looking like all of the slimming advertisement models.. crap..

And I was watching Discovery Home and Health today.. there is this program called "Birth Day" and it shows women giving birth.. I like to watch such programs becoz it kinda prepare me for what I should be expecting during my own labour.. but so far all the episodes show women starting off insisting on no epidural and later decided to opt for it in the end... and it is putting thoughts in my head of "ops...will I end up like them? am I making the wrong choice of insisting on no epidural?"

Another night of bad slp

Paola just gave birth the day before. Her baby Madeline is super damn cute. I hope Gerald is as cute too! She was being induced and her delivery took 12 hours.. OMG... upon hearing it I immediately took out my maternity package and started calculating... my maternity package only allows me 8 hours usage of the delivery suite. After 8 hours, it will be 53 cents per min for the next 4 hours... which adds up to an additional total of $1272!!! After 12th hour, it's free.... duhz they most probably already know 12 hours is the maximum anyone need to give birth naturally or maybe after the 12th hour, they will decide to proceed on with a C-section which mean additional charges again!!!! Oh no... pray hard everything goes well within plans man...

Anyway I didnt slp well yesterday night again... however yesterday was a completely new reason.. it wasnt the toilet trips... it also wasnt the acid reflux... it was trying to find a comfortable position to slp in... I am quite used to twisting and tossing ard in bed... multiple changes of positions throughout the night.. but nowadays just to change from facing left to facing right is a hefty task.. it is like carrying a 3kg watermelon in a pouch in front of you and turning together with it. When it is lying down on one side, it's still okay.. becoz the weight of it is supported by the mattress.. then the act against gravity pull begins when it is 45degrees and then 90degrees (that's when you have a 3kg watermelon sitting on top of your body... imagine that) then back down again... Rick kept asking me to stop twisting and tossing.. he said Gerald will feel uncomfortable inside... a while he is lying on mummy left.. then when mummy switched to the right.. he has to make himself comfortable again on the right too.. yeh maybe.. Rick said thanks god I am already working from home.. at least I get to rest if I really need to.. that's so true..

Around 2 weeks and 3 more days to go! So far I guess my third trimester is going fine... except for the lack of slp.. but I read in a magazine somewhere that the lack of slp during the third trimester is to prepare you for what's coming up next.. which is sooo true becoz once baby comes out, forget about slp man.. u will be waiting up every 2 hours... so maybe baby is preparing mummy right now..good boy!!.. hahahaha

No good night slp

Didn't have a good night sleep yesterday.

Woke up twice to go to the washroom.. then woke up a couple of times with a burning sensation in my chest.. thinking that it might be heartburn or acid reflux, I adjusted my pillow to 45 degrees and tried to get back to sleep in a sitting position.. woke up another couple of times with a aching pain in my stomach.. for a moment I was wondering to myself if I am going into labour.. are those contraction pains?? Spent about 15 mins awake after trying to make sure they are not...

Anyway the whole night is spent drifting in and out of sleep.. I am feeling very tired.. at 11.30am in the morning when I just woke up like barely 1 hour ago.. the whole body feel soft like a jelly and brain is definitely not in full working condition...

Me @ 26 weeks

That's me @ 26 weeks.. Rick likes to take photos with his hand on my stomach... I think that's damn cool.. hahaha.. give the feeling like we are one big family... hahaha...



See that's me underneath a big cow. Why?? Becoz baby Gerald is a cow boy!! He is born in the moo year..

Check up @ 37 weeks

Went to KK today to check on baby...

Rick is at work so he couldnt come... my father in law took leave and drove me down to the hospital with my mother in law... both of them then went shopping while I go for my scan and check up...

Baby is now 3kg to 3.1kg. My sugar level is abit high... doc asked me to take note of my sugar intake and try to cut down on things with too much sugar... I reckon it is the whole big glass of sugar cane juice that I had yesterday night or perhaps the Oreo McFlurry that I had on Fri/Sat... But I just kept craving for sugary stuffs which is not good!! Haiz.. no more icecream... no more canned drinks... only fruit juice or soy bean milk...

Anyway doc is hoping that I will go into natural labour within these 2 weeks which will keep baby's weight within ideal range of 3.5kg... if not it might be too big for me to deliver naturally... in fact I am due anytime soon!!! After 37 weeks, a baby is a full term baby.. no longer a pre-mature baby... Now that's scary... and the thought of "how am I going to deliver a 3.5kg baby from my cervix" starts to get into my mind.. hahahah.. imagine how big it has to be for the entire baby to come out... ok.. enough of that... I am still sticking to natural labour..

3 weeks to go...

Time really flies!!! To think that not soo long ago, I tested positive...then came the first trimester which isnt as bad as I thought it will be.. even though there was a couple of days I was down with morning sickness... then second trimester whipped past without a hitch... and now I am at my third trimester already... and it will be ending soon in 3 weeks!!!! How fast is that??? Hah

I started my maternity leave officially on 9th May... even though I will be still working from home.. at least I no longer have to make the 2 hours trip to work, up 3 flights of stairs.. and then make the same journey back... I reckon I will feel quite bored being stuck at home... other than going back to KK for the regular check ups... but the check ups are more packed now... it used to be once a mth.. then twice a week and now onwards it will be every week... becoz the baby is due anytime soon and they want to closely monitor it to make sure everything proceed smoothly.. The last checkup, baby weight is 2.7kg.. doc said it is abit too big for a 35 weeks baby, especially for my size... hmm... but I can't really control whatever I am eating.. so what the hack..

Everyone that see me now said my stomach is huge, even my dad...!! All the aunties in my block have been asking my mother in law if I am having twins... duhz!! Anyway the way I see it.. I dun feel my stomach being big at all.... hello.. it's a real live baby inside.. what do u expect??? Some old wives tale about not knowing how to hide my stomach... why should I?? And besides why would people even bother to hide their stomach for??? If you are pregnant you are pregnant.. I am as proud of my bump as I can be.. hahaha...

Anyway we went down and book my maternity package last Saturday during Rick's off day.. so that's one thing down... I wasn't very happy with what KK have to offer.. but at 35 weeks, I can't be bothered much... so let hope everything goes smoothly as planned... and I wun incur any much additional costs on top of the package becoz it will add up to a very pricy amount if it does... and thanks god there is the 0% installment plan... somehow it just help a bit to reduce the heartpain of seeing one whole lumpsum of 2k+ disappear from the bank account... self consolation indeed..

Started packing my bag today... already on standby mode... since baby might pop any day now crossing into 37 weeks.. in fact my mum has been nagging at me for quite some time on that... actually there isnt much... I just need to get a couple of more things ready for my confinement...a long sleeve jacket, bedroom slippers and socks... went out yesterday to Mustafa but didnt manage to get any of the items... most prob try my luck again this weekend... but first thing first I have already chopped off my long hair and got myself a short hairstyle.. hahah ... since I will be super wrapped up during my confinement... not being able to shower, not able to slp with aircon, cannot have the fan directly blowing at me... have to wear long sleeve, long pant, socks and bedroom slippers.. I reckon I will be sweating buckets... so I am sure short hair will help greatly... the hairstylist thinks that it is a waste for I have been having long hair so quite some time.. but hey that isn't anywhere on my concern list at the moment... for now I am just worried about how to make myself more comfortable... and not the opposite.. it will just be for a month.. and maybe it will help me to lose weight fastly.. so ok let just do with it...

Now that the due date is getting closer... even me (usually the calm one) is starting to panic a little... even though I kept telling myself that I cant plan for all possibilities.... so I should just let nature take its own course.. I am opting for natural birth... with the help of nitrous oxide of course.. but surely not epidural... I dun wan a injection in my spine.. and I surely dun want the helpless feeling of not being able to feel anything waist down.... I have quite a high threshold for pain.. and I believe very much in the fact that the brain controls over the physical state of the body... so it is how u think and not how u feel... so I am hoping with all these I am able to overcome the painful contractions.. although I still have no idea how painful the contractions are... my mum and my 2 best frenz think that I will surely be able to make it through since my character has always been very strong and rough... they know that I am not one of those gentle type of gals that cry out in pain at any simplest things... but Rick is abit worried... his major concern is he dun wan to see me in pain.... extreme pain that's it... so he kept asking me why I dun wan to choose C-section... since most of the people are going for it... it's like the easy way out... go in 15 mins the baby is out and there is no pain at all (not until afterwards)... but I dun wan a C-section... it wouldnt be considered childbirth if you nv go through natural labour at all!! That's what I think.. unless touch wood.. if I really cannot go for natural and have to go for a C-section.. then bo bian... but if can.. I am sticking to natural and that's it...

Thanks to my hubby!

I have to say this.. I think my hubby is one of the best I can ever have.

I have to thank him for being so supportive of me so far. Giving up his drinking tius to stay at home and accompany me, even if he need to go out he will try and make it back early, making the effort to fetch me to and fro work, bringing me to eat whatever I feel like eating and wherever I feel like going.. and most of all being sensitive to me and understand why I am going through all these changes...

I can't really ask for any more...