Isn't it scary when one day U can say that U love this person forever and the next day U realise U no longer love him as much as U thought u do..
Isn't it scary when one day U realise that U dun really wanna to spend the rest of ur life with the guy U always thought U wanted to spend the rest of ur life with ?
Isn't it scary when one day U realise U can live on pretty fine alone without the someone U thought U can nv live without?
Isn't it scary when U realise that U have nothing to speak to the someone who U used to spend hours chatting on the phone with?
Isn't it scary if U realise one day that the person who is supposed to understand U the most actually do not even understand U at all..?
Today I thought back about my past relationships.. does anyone realise that big impact and phobia that I have with regards to BGR relationships after all that have happen?? I dun wish to lie to myself that I do not have any fears with regards to a BGR relationship... after all a 6 yrs relationship can vanish into thin air... what else cannot happen?? Until now I am still asking myself the question to what happen and when did that happen and why did that happen.. I wanted so much to find out the root of the problem so I can learn from it and not make the same mistake again.. like what my dear say.. we need to learn from experience so as to make sure that we dun repeat the same mistake again.. if not the same cycle will happen again and again.. that is what I am so scared of right now... suddenly words dun seem to make any more sense.. the word I LOVE U dun contain any particular meaning anymore... I have lost my trust... I have once again put up my defences to guard against my feelings... in order not to get hurt...
I have always been truthful to myself even though most of the times my thoughts are rather negatve,.. but hey that is me... I think about the good and the bad... and I concentrate more on the negative side of things becoz I rather get myself prepared for the worst consequences... and not get a shock when it really happen.. that is my way of getting myself prepared for the worst.. I convince myself that it might really happen... if it doesn't all the good for me.. if it really happen.. well at least I anticipate the worst.. I alays strongly believe in communication and honesty... in a relationship both parties should be able to communicate their true feelings and thoughts to one another.. be it good or bad, positive or negative... therefore I am able to communicate my feelings and thoughts so well.. I dare to express myself... becoz I am being true... I dun hide anything becoz I dun see any point of doing so... in the first place I should't be writing a blog then... Yes sometimes being humans we do think too much... and when you say it out.. it might lead to unnecessary confusion and thoughts..and thoughts snowball.. it might hurt the relationship even... but if U are not going to say it out...then the relationship dun even have the foundation of honesty.. and comunication... how long can the relationship last when the foundations are not even being laid properly from the beginning.
I am a simple gal who just want simple things in life.. I dun need condos, cars and credit cards.. all I want is just a nice family, a proper family life, a good career, having the chance to go travel every year... simple things in life.. no luxury expected... although once in the while we do like to pamper ourselves... with spas, massages etc..
