Today is the 6th December. roughly about 25 days to count down to year 2006. Eventful year for me I suppose... make a couple of big and shocking changes in 2005... I changed a job and I changed a bf...
But with the beginning of year 2006, I will start off with another change in job.. seriously going to miss my collegues but I just can't stand that school anymore.. the students get on my nerves, the school gives me bad nightmares and sleepless nights and it manage to worsen my already seriously bad temper... I feel so apologetic to my collegues (I think they might be glad that I am leaving that place in fact because they has less one grumpy and angry person to spoil every single one of their day).. really I feel damn apologetic to my collegues whenever I scream and bark at them for something that is not really their fault.. haiz.. what the hell has make me become such a bad person like this.... I noe it is pathetic wrong... I know I am wrong to do so... but haiz sometimes when u haven't had enough sleep and you haven't got a chance to eat ur breakfast, lunch and dinner, and you are working from morning until night, you just reach your limitations that you erupt like a super volcano.. uncontrollable, unpreventable.. hahaha... really.... I hope leaving that place do me some good...
I think it is partly due to my perfectionist attitude... too much of it makes a person crazy.. i went into that school thinking that I can try and reeduce the mistakes and error rate by reducing my own mistakes.. I thought as long as I reduce the mistakes significantly on my side, things will turn better... but I guess I am just seriously wrong.. even though you try very hard not to crop up things, ppl will still do you a favor of cropping up things for you... and in the end you just think that it is your responsibility to solve the problems and correct the mistakes because you wanted so much to reduce the error rates on your side and in the end you end up taking whatever shit that come along your way... I take it upon myself for some of the mistakes committed even though it is not entirely my fault in the first place. YOu start to go like "oh maybe if I check earlier before, this mistake could have been avoided". I wanted so much for things to go perfectly but apparently that is seldom the case... sad case.... in fact nothing in that school does... as much as I tried not too....
I met a frenz of mine from USQ Toowoomba Australia.. surprised to hear him say that he will be coming into my school to work.. shld have call me beforehand and I would have seriously advise him against that decision of signing upon that appointment letter... what to do.. and OMG.. he also changed his gf... bye to his gf for 8 yrs... I am shocked.. throughly shocked.. hahaha... but things comes and go.. what is yours will be your eventually.. what is not will nv be... so let fate and destiny control my life....
But I simply can't wait to leave that pathetic school.. counting down from today... the day I leave... i might become the happiest woman on earth when you know all the burdens and responsibilities have been lifted off your shoulders.. i am just someone who dunno how to play tai ji and act toopidz...
