New clothes

Gerald in his new clothes (that is supposed to be for a one year old). Haha and he fit in just nicely

Gerald first Orchard trip

Brought Gerald to Orchard Road today. It is the longest time we ever stayed at one destination with Gerald in tow. Went out around 1.30 and stayed there till 8 or 9pm. And we only walked from Forum Shopping Centre till Orchard Central.

Gerald is starting to play with toys. Brought him to Taka and i took a bear and put it in front of him and he kept laughing, squeaking and giggling at it. It is a really happy laugh and it is perhaps the first time i see him laugh without having to tickle him or talk to him in funny languages. Wanted to buy it for him but the soft toy costs 80 bucks! Just a normal fluffy soft toy. Didnt take a pic of it. This boy really know how to choose. We brought him around the store and no other toys managed to do the trick. Never mind he will start putting it into his mouth anyway. He is putting everything into his mouth!

Quite happy with the trip and i think Gerald had fun exploring Orchard too. Amazed at all the lights and everything that is going on around him. I predict there will be more of such trips in the future.

Beautiful Baby

I was reading the Oct issue of Mother and Baby and there was this article "My baby was born with a hideous birthmark". The story is about this mother who was shocked when her daughter was born with a port-wine stain.

The first paragraph said

My first reaction whe I saw my dauughter after 39 hours of labour was shock. I was expecting to gaze at a beautiful little face but instead my baby had a huge dark purple mark covering her eye and most of the left side of her face

That got me thinking of the very day Gerald was born. When I am pregnant with him, I kept dreaming horrible dreams about my baby being born with problems.. disabled, scarred etc.. horrible dreams that got me waking up in shock at night and it basically haunted me for the remaining days of my pregnancy.. I didnt know what to expect.. especially when none of the scans managed to get a good view of Gerald face... even though the doctor said it's normal.. but I kept telling myself.. that's just the appearance.. what if.. I guess I was just preparing myself for the worst just in case...

When I regained conscious after the operation (I cant do a half body C-Section because I cannot have epidural due to my scoliosis, so I ended up doing a full un-consicious C-section operation), the first thing I asked the nurse was "how's my baby". But the nurse said she didn't get to see my baby.. and when they wheeled me out and when I saw Rick, I anxiously asked "how's the baby". And only when he told me he is okay.. only when I saw his picture on Rick's mobile phone.. then I finally felt a sign of relief... I have given birth to a beautiful looking baby...even though we haven't done the hearing test as of yet.. When I finally got to see Gerald face to face.. I was thanking God that none of the dreams came through..

Born to be a mother

No one is born to know how to be a mum. It is something that you have to experience and learn as you go along.


I was almost on the brink of falling into post natal depression when Gerald was born, being weighed down by the guilt of not being able to take care of him physically from the beginning, the guilt of not being able to breast feed him and the disappointment of not having enough support for me to continue to breast feed. I was very emotional and crying over every little things and staying away from Gerald just in case my depression got the better of me.


Being a new mother i didnt know what to expect. I have high expectations for myself being some one who has a very strong character. I thought things will go the way i thought and wanted it to. To realise nothing went the way i thought. And i just got angry. Angry that no one is saying things i want to hear, doing things the way i want to be done.


Thinking back now, everyone just want the best for gerald and me. I am glad i didnt do anything stupid. I still feel guilty for not being able to breast feed Gerald till now. But that cannot be changed. Slowly i will become better because i just want the best for my baby.

How many months?

Now whenever i see babies outside, the first question i feel like asking is 'how many months?' And i think i am not the only mother out there who have this burning question in mind because i see others asking it too! Haha

We brought Gerald to Rick cousin ROM and there was another baby there. His size is much smaller than Gerald even though he can pretty much sit unsupported. I thought he is younger than Gerald. Turned out he is 6 months old. Haha

Just saw another baby with his father on the train. Really wanted to ask him that question because the baby seem to be around the same age as Gerald. Maybe slightly older as the baby can stretch out the hands and request to be carried. Gerald only reached out his hands to grab stuffs. But they are too far away from me so i didnt ask in the end. Disappointed.

Bumbo seat

Gerald in his Bumbo seat.. he will not be able to sit inside in for long... his thighs are getting too big for the chair.. have trouble trying to pull him out of the chair once he is inside.. hahaha

Sofa

Gerald sitting on e sofa all by himself.

Tired

I am tired..

I need a holiday and a break!

Mum & Working Mum

It's really difficult to be a mum and working mum...

That's why so many people nowadays rather be concentrating solely on their careers and chose not to have babies.. or have a baby, quit their job and be a full time housewife...

Reason is very simple.. because you can never be in between.. especially not at the beginning stages of your baby's life..

Juggling between work and family (parents, parents in law, baby, husband) plus not enough slp every night is enough to tire you out...

Government are giving out more baby bonus.. more maternity leaves... childcare leave... to try and encounter more babies... at the same time they are also encountering more females to join the working force... is it enough??? NO! The longer maternity leaves had the mum worrying that she might not lose her job now but she will lose her job when she get back... sure you can sue your employee but the end result will always be "sorry but your job is gone.. look for another one"... the money given is not enough to last till one year.... you have a few good companies with very good benefits for mums such as flexible working hours, work from home etc but can I ask.. how many mums actually get to work in such a firm... less than 50%... most worked for SMES... who ultimately cares about their day to day commercial operations than family.. ultimately the company need to survive.. bottom line period.. who cares about you wanting to spend more time with your family..

Is a balance between all affecting factors in my life achievable at all?

Updates...

Ok I havent been updating for quite some time..

I have a couple of videos I wanted to upload but I am just too lazy to transfer them from my mobile to my com.. and the videos are too big to upload straight to blogger from my mobile.. so those got to wait..

Gerald has reached a couple of new milestones... he can now hold his own water bottle.. (but not milk bottle because that's too big for him)...he can now roll over by himself (and he love doing that..).. he can now "walk" on the floor in his walker.. (previously we put a wooden board underneath to use as a floorboard as his feet cannot reach the ground then).... he cannot really walk properly.. but can move his own walker to and fro and backward by pushing his body to the side and back... he is now starting to observe stuffs and is very curious about the world around him.. and by doing so.. refuses to drink his milk properly.. we will have to shove and fight our way to get him to finish his bottle... if not he will just drink till he's ok (not full yet because less than 3 hours later he will start crying for milk again and the cycle repeat itself), push the teat out and refuses to drink anymore..and he is still drinking 120ml of milk.. (seem a little too little for me for a 5 mths old baby)..and he can go 4 - 6 hours withoout milk whenever we bring him out.. (woo hoo save milk powder but poor Gerald seem to have lose some weight because of that).. but when we are outside.. no matter how we push the milk bottle to him.. he just refused to drink it... what can we do? Because he is so curious about the world outside.. he love to go out..he love to sit car... which is good because I want him to see stuffs, mix around with crowds so he is not afraid of noises and strangers..

The previous Sunday 13th Sept, we took Gerald back to Batu Pahat, my mum hometown to visit my grandma and pray to my late grandpa... luckily he slept most of his way there.. however as he now recognises familiar faces.. he will cry when he see a unfamiliar face.. so he was crying whenever he see my mum, my dad and my grandma face and I have to carry him most of the times.. Quite sad that he cannot recognise my parents face because they are his grandparents too.. I tried to bring him over once every week but dun think that's enough... but he is just a baby.. so I hope when he grow older, he will know my parents as his grandparents too..

Got to prepare to go to work now.. update again..

ROLL OVER

Gerald on his tummy

Car seat

Gerald has a new car seat today. A proper one with 5 point harness and his own seat belt!

Nikoi Island

Me and hubby are both thinking of going for a holiday during the New year period.. 1st Jan to 3rd Jan since it is a Fri - Sun long weekend.. and Nikoi Island is one of the destinations that we have been looking at for a long time and always didn't have a chance to go..

The previous time we checked availability one month ahead and it was fully booked.. can't remember when was that for.. and I was advised to book 3 months ahead... and now I am checking availability 4 months ahead and still it is fully booked!! ARGHHH...

This is soo unbelievable.. If you are interested to fight with me... visit www.nikoi.com

Gerald Photo Blog

Make a Smilebox photobook

I just did this and I am sooo proud of myself.. It's perfect!!

4th month

Today is Gerald 4th month birthday accordingly to the chinese lunar calendar. Accordingly to the chinese tradition, we must shave off the baby hair and let the baby wear shoes. And for that he is extremly well dressed today. Look at him dun he look like a one year old, with jeans and polo tee! Thanks to Uncle Zhaowei for the gift.

Bumbo

I must get a baby bumbo seat for Gerald! How come I dunno anything about it till today? Was speaking to a colleague about when his baby can sit by herself when he mentioned that they let her sit in a bumbo at 4 months. And i am like what bumbo. Then i searched and realised it is such a amazing thing! Who wan the high chair, Gerald cant even sit properly in it without being all strapped up. He need a bumbo! Ok i am overly excited and amazed at my new discovery, so much so that i wish i can pop into Kiddy Palace now and buy one now so Gerald can sit in it tonight. Although i am not sure if Gerald legs will fit but who cares! Think about it later! I tried to find a second hand bumbo but it is all sold out! High demand man. Damn

Long update...

Ok.. it's been a very long time... ever since my last post in May... many of the people reading this blog will most probably think that I have already closed down my blog.. or practically chose to ignore it.. but in fact I didn't... hahaha

This blog is mainly about me and my hubby... but ever since May, there has been a new center in our life... ever since the birth of our baby Gerald, he has become the new center stage, all attention are focused on him and both our lifes surround him and him only... leaving not so much time for myself or ourselves... but of course we will try and spend as much couple time together as we can...

Gerald has a blog at chrisrickandbabygerald.blogspot.com. As mentioned previously, he is the center stage so of course the blog is very updated.. hahaha.. If I have some time to spare, I will most probably be updating his blog rather than mine! Hah.. it has to be a detailed record of Gerald growing up so I am pretty determined to get the site running.. hahaha.. should you not see any posts on this blog, try Gerald..

Gerald playground!

My house is slowly turning into a playground for Gerald.. look at the many things that he has till now! And it is still accumulating..

First row (from the left to the right): Web chair where he often has his afternoon naps as it is airy, his old rocking chair where he will sit and play with his 3 little white teddy bears, his high chair to be used around the dining table when he can sit, for now it is just for him to sit for fun and his walker where he will learn how to walk, for now it is just for him to sit for fun too. Second row (from the left to the right): his stroller, his cot, his play gym and his rocking horse.

One corner of the living room has turned into his playground filled with all of his things! He is taking over the living room

Self conscious

Now on the train on my way to work. There is a very pretty gal with a very handsome young man sitting in front of me. Then met a very old frenz that i know since sec school but have lost contact ever since. He could hardly recognise me.



Suddenly felt very self conscious of myself. My short messy and grassy hair, my pale and dull face with no make up and no natural glow or brightness, my out of shape figure with a spare tyre around my tummy. Suddenly feel so ugly.

Baby Brianna

This has nothing to do with Gerald and this will NEVER EVER happen to Gerald.. This is a perfect example of what a unloving mother is.. and that surely can never be me!



How can she possibly treat her baby this way! If she dun want the baby, why didnt she just abort it or have a miscarriage? Why give birth to the baby in the very first place?? I cant say anything for the dad or uncle because they never went through the whole 9 or 10 months of pregnancy but the mum surely did... and still don't feel any love for the baby?? She is such a cute baby!!! Whenever I see Gerald sleeping peacefully I think he is such an angel.. I seriously cried at the last part of the video...

I cannot bear to even think how would the baby feel... the only people that she rely and depend on since the first day of birth actually abused her this way... how sad would she be if she understand what's going on... to be lying by herself..noone to play or chat with her... and whenever she is picked up she is being beaten and abused!! And she is just a innocent baby who have no idea!! Who will smile at you whenever you carried her... how can you possibly do this to your child!!! Wun your heart ache when you see the bruises all over your baby and realised it is all your doing.. and your baby is still smiling at you because she know you are her mother??!!

The parents should be hanged! Seriously pissed off