Felt very tired suddenly...
Everyone is asking me if the wedding preps are too much to handle.. surprisingly I took it like a breeze... I am someone that make decisions easily when I get the say of things... well trained from my past operations / managerial positions...
However it is not the wedding preps that are tiring me out.. it's the parents... I would like to blame it on generation gaps... i made a mistake that cant be undone... my gal frenz made the same mistake but surprisingly the outcome is very different in both situations...
Somehow like what some of my frenz say, it is either parents or ur say.. there can never be something in the middle... so true.. sometimes I asked myself "what have I gotten myself into"... a tug and pull war game?
I can't understand... what should I do,or what should I have done?
Maybe it's wrong to get married...
Ultimately I just want to lead a simple and sweet married life with my future hubby.. one in which I get to see him everyday when I wake up in the morning... get to see him when I come home late and tired from work... one in which i get to grumble to him about work... and he would console me by giving me a hug in return...
I wish I could just throw everything aside and run away to a far far place with no worries and problems... I wish I could just wipe all the unhappy memories and unhappiness away from my brain...
After my ah gong funeral, I realised he love my grandma so much but he would still have to leave her alone when he passed on... then what's the point of getting married? To spend the remaining days of your life together? How many days would that be?? Ultimately both will be seperated by death.. till death do us part...
I wish at this point I have finally realised the logic of letting go... to truly let go, you have to forgo everything in life including family and your loved ones... and realise the fact that you come into this world with nothing and you would leave this world with nothing... but would anyone will able to survive in this world with nothing? I cant let go...
