Looking forward to..

Not e public holiday tomolo

Is this weekend instead....

Starting from Fri...

All e way to Mon...

Singaporean Tube Stories

Filled with

people who snatched so hard for a seat then alighted two stops later....

people who are not sleeping, with their eyes wide open yet refusing to give up their seat for a old man or lady who cant even stand properly...

people who lean their body and bum against e pole and refusing to let anyone else put their hands on 'their' pole in e crowded train...

Down Time..

It happens

 

Every once in a mth

 

To every woman alive

 

When you feel sulky and down

When everything just dun seem to go well..

 

When you feel ultimately depressed........

 

When you are sianz to the extreme

 

And you wish for a getaway...

 

But you tell youself...

 

It is only the Down Time now...

 

And that's why.....

 

 

 

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Autophobia

Autophobia refers to an extreme dislike of oneself, or being angry at oneself, commonly known as self-hatred or self-loathing.

It is true... I sometimes really hate myself...

I have a ugly face... fat and chubby yet full of acne, blackheads, facial hairs, open pores and pimple scars....only looks a little better under a layer of foundation and make up.... but still the round face, the ugly cheekbones and the fat on the cheeks still remains as ugly as it is....

My hair is as lifeless as it can be... long but useless.... unchangable and dead.... no hairstyle can ever be properly styled to look good........

I have yellowish skin tone... no matter how much whitening lotion I use... the yellowish tone remains.......... I am neither brown nor white... I am yellow.....

I have no hour glass figure... all because of my scoliosis which left me with nothing but protruding bones, fat tummy and a big stomach..........nothing looks good on me... all the clothes that I can wear and wore either makes me look like a pregnant woman or a clothes hanger... all because they are too tight or too loose.... maybe if I have bigger breasts nothing of all the above matters... but I dun even have what it takes.... I cant never choose my clothes.... I can only wear whatever that comes along.... whatever that looks "good" but can nv be as good... so what is the point of buying nice bras, nice underwears, nice shirts, nice skirts, nice jeans.... ultimately it will still look ugly on this body of mine.........

I dunno how to make up properly.. i dunno how to dress up properly... I see pretty gals with nice clothes on the streets... and I cant even wish I can be like that becoz I am not even 0.01% close...

What has Heaven given me?? Nothing but a lousy external shell....

I am a total loser!!!

DUM & DUM

Babies...

Went out with my best pals in secondary school last Monday... met up for dinner at Pizza Hut, Causeway Point in Woodlands... as we chatted, somehow we came to the topic of babies and married life.. somehow as human ages, even the topics that was discussed in gatherings changed... last time it was studies and gossips, then it become work and gossips and now it become work, marriage, relationship and babies!

But anyway we talked about getting married.. and then babies came into the picture... and then we went into the topic of abortion... debating on the topic of aborting the baby should you be not ready for it or do not have the right mentality to take good care of it and give it the best... my frenz agrued on the basis that a baby is also a life and you should never kill a life....

To me, I think firstly I am too young... I am struggling to earn enough for myself.. I have a career to build... it is surely not the right time to have a baby now... I wun have the time and the financial capability to take care of the baby... and surely not the right mentality to be a good mother... they said when you give birth to a baby, you will change, your mentality will change.... but I dun wan to take the bet... I have seen people giving birth to a child at the young age only to regret their decision and ended up hating their child for ruining their life.. and with the wrong mentality you might end up hurting the kid in many ways you shouldnt..

I have a frenz who just announced that he will be a dad in Oct... he is beaming with radiance on his face.. very happy to be a dad... the couple is very happy to welcome the kid into their life and I am seriously happy for them too...

I too crave for a happy marriage life... and also a kid... I do agree that a marriage life can be enhanced with the birth of a child... when a couple comes together to take care of the child and share all the happiness and unhappiness that come with it... they bring their child out for a walk, to play at the playground... with a sweet smile on their face when they see their kid running around, laughing and smiling... that all comes at the right time.. when both couples are ready to take on the responsibility and burden of a kid coming into their life...