Thinking of someone.....
I tried to stop myself...
I told myself I have no rights to interfere into your life... no rights to ask you to stop smoking... no rights to know if U are at home or at camp.. no rights to know if U have breakfast, lunch or dinner.. no rights to be jealous or ask who U are going out with... even more no rights to be irritated over U putting your ex photo onto your friendster... anyway.. why would I care?? I am not even your gerfrenz.. just your frenz... a frenz for comfort purposes...
At the same time, I told myself since I am just your frenz... I dun have to report to U about my whereabouts... why should I make the effort of reporting to u whether I wake up liao, I am in the office or not, have my dinner or not.. again U are just a frenz to me right? It has become a habit.... a habit that has been developed into me for no reason at all....I can't explain why.... I try to make ur appearance less significant in my life but habits are hard to changed.. even new developed habits..
We both make a pact that we both wun commit into a relationship.. we are both scared to fall into a second relationship.. we are both comfortable abt where we are now right?? I thought we came to an agreement on that not long ago?? Things should stay this way... right?? Maybe we are just trying to use each other to fill up the empty and vacant spot in each other life.... ... but still.... I am confused... why do I even think about U?? Why must we talk to each other every night before sleeping... U just ask me what would he think if I am forgoing a chance just becoz of U.... but in the first place.. aren't U supposed to have no place in my heart?? I am confused..... trying to look for a way out of the maze... are U equally confused like me or U are damn clear about this so called friendship or relationship with no committment?? Is it friendship or a relationship... or is it nowhere in between....
Whatever it is.. I think for one thing for sure... we both do not want to committ to another relationship... so just let things be
