The very basic to every relationship is understanding. Firstly you must let your potential bf/gf understand what type of person you really are. No point pretending to be someone you are not just for the sake of winning the person's heart. Ask yourself how long can you pretend for? How long can you hold on to the person's heart? As time goes by and your true character and personality start to show, everything will just be a dream; gone forever. Then what is the point of the relationship in the very first place. You are not you. You are just pretending to be someone the other party want... and when one day you realise you can't carry on to be the false someone, the other party's hopes got smashed and yours will follow. At the beginning of the relationship while trying to win the person's heart, you send big bouquets of flowers to her, ferry her to and off work, bring her to expensive dinners (while complaining on the other hand that your wallet basically only have $50 to last you to the end of the month), bring her to see beautiful sunsets and scenary, talk to her in a soft and charming manner.... you think it is you... you think it is all worth it if you can manage to win her heart... Let me ask you... what if one day the ger start to complain.. why didn't you fetch me off work, why the presents, dinners and bouquets of flowers stop...why now you don't have time to acommpany me anymore... why are you now talking to me in a rough manner... All not like you when you are wooing me... what would you reply..? Because firstly it is not you... can you tell her truly actually I am just a poor chap who don't have the financial capability to send you flowers and bring you for expensive dinners, I don;t have the time to ferry you on and off work everyday... I also got my own things to do... that I can't finish... what would the ger react by then? She love you not becoz you are you... she love the person that you pretend to be... that is not happiness.. that is falseness and lies... both parties dun even understand each other at all.. because at the very beginning you did not give her a chance to understand the real you... you did not give her the chance to choose between the real you and her ideal guy. For the sake of winning her you pretend to be her ideal in the end wasting your time and her time, wasting your chance and her chance at finding the true one... why dun you find someone who understand you for who you are in the first place instead of compromising yourself for no happiness sake?
There are couples who started out with no understanding in a relationship but continue to understand and find out more about each other as time goes by. The funni thing is they continue on to do so till they die... but at least they are letting the other party know about their true self... both parties accept that the other person true self is what they are truly looking for as a ideal partner for life... thus they can spend their entire lifetime understanding each other more and more day by day but they still stick by each other side, willing to support each other through their life journey. My grandma and grandpa are typical examples. They got married without even a chance to look at how each other look like... they spend their entire lifetime accompanying each other and developing that very basic understanding for each other... they are patient and tolerant to each other's habits and personality... and now at the age of 80.. they are still finding out things about each other's thoughts and personality... how many people can do so now? I believe none...
There are couples who broke up because of too much understanding too. So without understanding in a relationship, it is not a relationship. Now I am saying even with understanding, too much of it will result in a spoilt relationship. Contriditing right? It is only because when you understand each other too much to realise the other party is far from your basic criteria of a ideal life partner.. you decide to let go. There can be many reasons for the gap between someone who you thought was the ideal partner and your ideal life partner. Firstly the person pretend to be someone he/she is not and as the true personality show, the truth finally hit you. Or the other party may be showing his/her true personality, but as you know more and more about his/her character or personality, you realise it is far from what you want. When it comes to these kind of cases... why waste both parties time and chances by trying to hold on? The better way will be to let go and give each other a chance to find the right one isn't it?
I used to think I can compromise myself in the sea of love. To realise that compromise sometimes do not lead to happiness... I dun mind loving someone even though my name is not in the person heart. But I realise sometimes people tend to make use of your love for them for their own benefits. You become someone for them to use when they need you, someone for them to go to when their gf/bf is not free or agrue with them.... but when they are happily with their bf/gf, they totally forget about your name, dun even have the time to talk to you when you are down. What kind of frenz are they? I am determinded not to become a silly ger like that, I dun want to be make use of again...why should I? Don't ever tell me that because I love you I need to help you when you are in need? Where are you when I need you to help me? Why don't you ask your gf to help you? Because she as your gf, you have to pamper her.. but not me? I am only there to share unhappiness but not happiness in your life... only there to fill up the empty spaces left behind by your gf when she cannot be there...Maybe as a frenz yes I will always be there for you but that will never be LOVE. Frankly speaking in the very first place I never even love you... because you are totally not fit to be someone that I love. Because that isn't love in the first place. I have every right as a woman to find someone who truly love me.. not to be someone who will always be in the shadows under someone you love.
After falling down in the path of love... I am determind to become stronger... I might be lonely but I wun fall... I want to find my true one... no compromises to be make against my preset criteria of a ideal life partner...
