Ok. Now at work.. actually have a lot of emails and calls to be made but the funni thing is I dun feel like doing so.... maybe it is becoz I have not enough of slp.. basically slept for 3 hrs yesterday.. slept at 4 woke up at 5 to give someone a mrning call and went back to slp until 7am.. many many cups of coffee down the stomach only manage to give me a terrible stomachache but no cure for my sleepy illness...
A frenz of mine came to pick me up from work and we went up to MT faber for a drink... That is the place that I always wanna to go.. and I finally got to see the beautiful scenary and lots of light bulbs!!! How I wish I can stay there longer and probably get to see sunrise... but too bad both me and my frenz got to work in the mrning today so we just manage to stay until 12am. Got home around one.. supposed to go to sleep... but ended up having a long talk with the same frenz throughout the night yesterday.... it got me thinking the whole night and mrning and I bet afternoon too... I have no idea why whatever he say seem to have such a big impact on me.. He say usually gers who are not willing to be in a relationship with him will end up trying to help him to tackle gers... which was actually what I am trying to help him do yesterday... but the thing that I don't understand and can't figure out is... he THOUGHT that I am not willing to be in a relationship with him... that is a one sided agrument but he nv bother to ask me anything about whether I am willing to carry on the life journey together with him... for that he is toopidz.... he ASSUMED that I will not be willing and therefore he dun even bother to ask... for the fear of 100% rejection... I tried hinting to him that he nv even seek my answer but I bet he didn't get the hint or he simply doesn't bother... But anyway.. i tried to help him to tackle a ger yesterday... whether it is successful or not.. will depends on fate and destiny.. frankly speaking I have no idea why I volunteered to do so.. and why I am doing so.. Haha
Anyway.. I think we both know that a relationship between us most likely wun work out... even though we have the same likes and hobbiess.... even though we do have a crush on each other... bloody hell he nv hinted to me anything and even if he did I wun catch it either... we are not a match for each other and we know deep inside our heart. Therefore other than being a fling with each other... it can nv develop into a serious relationship and I am curious how a relationship is going to develop without the foundation of LOVE... I admitted I like his character.. him for being him.... Him for being egolistic... Him for knowing how to treat a ger well... but I dun think that is enough.... and it wun be a proper relationship.. Frankly speaking I think I quite like him really even from the past.. but I didn't make it too obvious I hope.. haha.. but since he is moving on in his life... why should I stop in my path?? I used to think that things might work out unless we give it a try... it depends on us to work things out but sometimes I guess it isn't so.. and I think his crush for me is temporary and over by now... it will nv turn to like nor love so I bet he dun even bother to ask or try or maybe he also think it will be a waste of time other than two lonely ppl trying to seek some comfort in each other arms.. which is crap I guess... haha.. I dun have no idea what he is thinking... maybe becoz we joke too much abt each other until we have no idea what we are saying is true or false ourselves.. haha
Maybe like what the test say.. i am in need of some love and affection... but still I dun think I want to be in a serious relationship now... and not within the next few yrs.... I did consider him as a potential partner in life.. (one sided point of view again) but frankly speaking I dun think I have the courage and ability to be in any serious relationships after my last experience.. I dun want to get on a bus and after a few yrs realise that this bus is not going tthe direction that I wanted to go... I dun wan to take another chance... and besides I dun think I am ready at this age... i think I am too young to be in something that serious... so I guess it is going to be me alone or only flings ba... haha. not much committment needed....anyway many fortune tellers did predict that I shldnt be in a relationship too early and I am only suitable for a late marriage... simply crazy thinking...back to work... haha
