Haunted by the past...

Once upon a time..

Long time ago...

I didnt treasure what I have....

I treated everything for granted..

Like it should happen or it should be the way...

I overlooked the good and concentrated on the bad...

Like it is only the bad that matters and nothing good ever happen....

I missed out on all the small actions which actually means care and concern...

Like a fast forward tape where some parts are being missed or skipped over...

Will history repeat itself??

Will I make the same mistakes I did in the past??

Now thinking back, in fact he did care... but I just didnt "notice".....

Would You Be There by Redwan Ali

If I were blue, would you be there for me,
And whisper in my ears that’s okay.
Would you stand by me,
Let me hold you tight,
And say you love me one more time.

If I feel good, would you slow dance with me,
And touch my lips with tender love and care.
Would you die for me,
Would you run with me,
And never look back.

Would you be there to love, to be with me ?
Would you swear that your love is always true ?
Would you say that you’ll always be the one, to take my breath away ?

Would you be there to love, to be with me ?
Would you swear that your love is always true ?
Would you say that you’ll always be the one, to take my breath away ?

Would you be there ..

Most "SUAY" gal on earth....

Yeh that's me.. and I am damn PISSED with it la..

I am going for a self-drive holiday (dar is the one driving) to Fraser Hill.. It is a freaking long journey of more than 6 hours

And I am SICK!!! Down with Urinary tract infection... (not paiseh to say)

Nothing can be better / best I tell u...

NOTHING!!!!

The last time I was down with the same infection right, I tried to act doc by treating myself... in the end it got worse... from urinary tract infection to bladder infection and a near inch before I nearly said goodbye to my kidneys....

So this time, I went straight to the doctor.. and it doesnt seem to get better loh.. I am starting to get fever and chills and nausea (which might be becoz of I am sick from drinking too much plain water)... doc told me yesterday he will give me some medicine.. if by tomolo (which is today) I dun get better, I got to go back to see him and get a stronger medicine and an injection...

But the main thing is I am going on a holiday tomolo!!! I dun wan to be stopping at every single toilet along North-South Highways to relief myself, neither do I wan to risk going all the way up to Fraser Hill (which I assume is superb ulu) to kana a more jialat problem like bladder infection...or even kidney infection.. no hospitals to send me to lei!!

I have to drink more water... (to pass out all the bacteria / virus) and I HATE DRINKING WATER... *vomit*... and I get sick from drinking too much water.... but bo bian.. in order to get better I forced myself to start a water marathon since yesterday la... I drank like more than 8 cups of plain yucky drinking water everyday lo... which is basically almost the amount of drinking water I will drink in a week la...

Apparently... last min hugging the Buddha foot is nv useful... especially when u are sick........ like me...

Spoilt brat...

the above refers to me, myself....

why???

becoz I am becoming very spoilt la...!!

I just went for a holiday first week of July to Malacca & Port Dickson but I will be going for another one this Thursday!! Wahahahhaa 3 days 2 nights to Fraser Hill(that's confirmed) and one other place (orginally planned as Kuantan to see turtles lay eggs but now there is a sudden change of mind considering the driving distance so we might be heading towards Genting or Bukit Tinggi or Cameron Highlands or....)

Will be driving in with Zhaowei and Lily.. two cars convo... one Honda Jazz and one KIA Picanto... we are going to have sooooo much fun....

plus a big "lobang" in the pocket when we got back.. hahaha

Strive on!!!

I shld really dress up more... change my dress sense.... wear more skirts...

I was looking through my pictures today... I have more than 10 folders of pictures in my computer... Guess how many photos did I find with me in a skirt...

5!!! How sad right!!! Wah piangz eh... out of a near 300 or more photos.. I only have 5 photos with me wearing a skirt... and that is because I am attending my cousin's wedding.. that's why....

And I am wearing this pink shoes (that looks more like bedroom slippers) from the photo...


And by the way those shoes are one size too big for me la... i am dragging the shoes around the banquet hall becoz once I lift up my leg, the shoes will fall off... and I kept tripping over them the entire night whenever I try to walk properly... And I spent a freaking $47 bucks for them... *vomit blood*

haiz... why would I even go out of my doorstep in such an ugly combination... why do I have such lousy dress sense??

Countdown Timer

6 more mths...
exact 183 days to go...

14 weekends apart..
13 weekends together...

from then on... we will nv be apart...

Drinking......

I seriously have no violent objections to drinking...

daily, weekly, monthly or yearly..

it doesnt really matter....

but I do have a problem with OVER-drinking...

to the point when behaviour is no longer normal, words become nonsensical and the surroundings no longer matter

someone asked me a question before "why do all womens hate / disallow their mens to drink?"

I don't hate.. neither do I disallow... but I just wish for control..

Beware....

of mad woman on the road.............

wahahaha

for the many who are waiting to hear / see (from my blog) the results of my practical driving test on 12th July 2007......

*sound of drums*

I PASSED!!!!!!

yes yes..

I know I wrote in my previous blog that I doubt I will pass at my first attempt blu blu blu... I know I kept whining about how difficult the practical driving test is going to be blu blu blu... and how I kept saying about how I would never be able to pass it at my first attempt blu blu blu....

but.......

I PASSED!!!!!!!!

at my first attempt....

I told dar yesterday and of coz dun need to say... he is a happy man.... I told my colleagues in fact the whole office today and everyone was like "first attempt and you passed?? Wow you must be damn impressive and good la..."

Actually I was seriously just pure damn lucky... and even till now I still cant really believe how lucky I am and how on earth did I actually manage to pass the driving test....

Thank you Guan Yin Niang Niang for her blessings....

Thank you for all the people who have been wishing me best of luck.... and giving me the mental support that I soo much needed... and all the encouragements I need when I soo wanna to give up on my tiring driving lessons... (of coz dar deserve the most credit becoz he was the main person pushing me all the way)

Thank you to the people who keep suaning me about how reckless my future driving will be... even though you werent of much help

And to Mr Lawrence Wee...

If you happen to see this blog.... I PASSED!!!!!!! =P

I am back.....

From my holiday.... hehehe...

Not exactly fully refreshed... but very much well worth my leave...

I am still on leave today.. but dedicated the entire morning of it to washing my holiday clothes and my class 3 driving lesson...

Bo bian.. practical driving test on 12th July 2007 (tremble) so now have to go on express course liao in order to perfect my on the road skills...

Used to take only one lesson every two weeks, then it become 1 lesson each week.. then it become 2 lessons each week.. and now.. i am booking whatever slots my driving instructer have free on his diary.. he also quite nice la.. helped me to push back some of his other students' lessons in order to accommodate to my schedule.. so now I basically have like 4 lessons a week.. a bit kiasu I would say.. however even with that much lessons, I doubt I will pass my first practical driving lesson... but anyway dar said take it with a pinch of salt.. wahaha

The holiday was superb... we drove up to Malacca on Saturday.. stayed there for one night.. drove up to Port Dickson the next day on Sunday... stayed there for another one more night and came back yesterday on Monday.... surprised to see quite some Singaporean cars on the roads even yesterday when we are on the way back.. but I guess we are not the only one who knows how to take leave on Fri / Mon eh.. hehehe

Anyway we have been up to Malacca many times now so Malacca was like nothing.. did the same thing we did everytime.... reached Malacca, checked in to the hotel.. usually we will stay at Aldy Hotel this time we stayed at Hotel Tropicaville becoz Aldy was full... *sob sob*..

Aldy Hotel. Can you see Baby Pica?
Hotel Tropicaville was okay... but a little too budget for the price we were paying for though.. we paid RM118 for one room per night without breakfast.. and the location was completely out of the way, you will have to drive in and drive out to get to other places...and they only have 4 reserved parking lots for guests, for the rest you will have to pay about RM2 for 3 hours... Aldy was soo much better.. the room is priced at RM135 with breakfast... (big American style breakfast which costs abt RM15 per person.. do your Maths!), they have a private parking compound for guests which can roughly park up to 6 - 7 cars.. and the location is just right smacked beside Jonker Walk (the most happening place of all in Malacca).. and thus even though it is alittle more ex, it is well worth the price...

After checking in, we went for our usual Nonya Laksa and Baba Chendol... must eat after travelling so far right... the chicken rice balls are also very famous but I never had a chance to try that becoz forever long queue!!... too lazy to wait anyway... we were lucky la.. the Nonya Laksa sometimes also alot of people one.. but when we were there, we got a seat quite easily... went back to the hotel for a nap.. then went out to Amigos for dinner... they served very nice western food.. Dar got his usual sizzling beef steak and I got my morzarilla chicken.. plus our honey lime freeze.. coool... then we went to meet up with dar's parents who drove up all the way to Malacca... accompanied them to dinner at "Gu Cheng Chicken Rice"... (they said the chicken rice there not nice..) which I thought so too.. looks very commercialised to me... anywhere that is commericialised.. the food is surely not good...however they have super nice decoration in that place loh....

The Emperor's Chair
Dar trying to be a trishaw rider
After which we walked from one end of Jonker Walk to another and back.. haha.. same thing again...Then his parents set off to Genting Highlands and we went back to the hotel to rest... the next morning we drove out for breakfast.. went in search for dim sum but funni lei couldnt find any... so we ended up at Aldy Hotel.. damnz it sia.. if we stayed there we wouldnt have to pay RM34 bucks for the breakfast lo.. haha.. anyway then we did some exercise by climbing up the hill....



Then it is off to Avillion, Port Dickson.. woohooo... set off at 12pm... it was raining alittle on our way there.. hoping and praying that it wun be raining at Port Dickson.. on our journey there, there isnt a drop of rain at all lo.. it was freaking hot la... I am sweating like hell inside the car even though aircon is on... duhz... anyway we reached our destination at about 2+ (if I didnt remember wrongly).. went to The Store to get a bottle of wine... we simply just chose the one with the nicest description and a decent price tag.. hahaha..

Then it is off to find food for lunch.. drove quite far out of the city area.. couldnt find any decent place to eat... of coz partly becoz we are quite unfamiliar with the place and thus we dunno where got nice decent food ma.. hahaha..and so we can only choose on the basis of crowd plus number of cars.. hahaha.. decided to settle for a small family style restaurant with quite some people inside.. ordered lor mee and yong tau foo for 2 paxes.. ok la.. cost about RM23+.. then we drove to Avillion coz it is time to check it...

Reached there at 3pm sharp... managed to find a parking lot in the carpark just in front of the reception entrance instead of having to park on the opposite side of the road... woohoo... further more the carpark got Nepalese guards in full uniform guarding the entrance / exit.. perfect welcome man.. however one slight gitch... we went to check in and was informed that our Premium water chalet is not ready yet... reason being it was full house on Sat and thus they couldnt clean up fast enough.. I was pretty ok la.. didnt wan to complain much considering I am in the service industry myself too.. didnt wan to be one of those fuzzy complaining guests.. but dar was quite unhappy considering that we paid so much for the room and we couldnt check in on time which means we cannot fully ultilize the money we paid for it...(spent about RM500+ for one night stay in the Premium water chalet).. anyway the check in staffs gave us our coupons for a welcome drink at the hospitality lounge while we wait...




We finally managed to get our room keys about 3.30pm.. our Premium water chalet is located at Lisaboa stretch which is the last cluster of chalets to the left hand side of the resort by the side of Tumasek Beach.. The room was simply perfect... come with a 4 poster King size bed, a Queen size day bed just besides the window overlooking the sea, a private balcony with two beach deck chairs overlooking the Straits of Malacca and a outdoor shower area!!!!! The floor for the outdoor shower bath was covered in very colourful small pebbles...(i forgot to take a pic of the floor!!) I so wish I can have that in my house bathroom too man...








In order to fully ultilize our room, we were deciding to order room service but everything on the menu was like above RM20 even cut fruits... so we decided to go for a walk to preview our choices.. so we took a walk around the resort...





We went to the international buffet restaurant named Village Court assuming it will be the cheapest place to eat in the entire resort.. in fact it is .. but too bad it is closed for a company function.. so we went to another restaurant which served ala carte set meals.. and the price range is almost about the same as room service... so we went back to our room to consider our options.. in the end we chose to venture out for dinner.. and thanks god we did.. becoz we went to a "zhu char" restaurant, ordered sambal kangkong, bittergourd soup, fried sotongs and sweet & sour pork plus rice.. and it only costed us RM26 bucks for the entire meal... and it is delicious home cooked food.. yummy... so luckily we didnt ate at the restaurant becoz it would have cost us more than RM50...

Then it is back to the resort and into our swimming costume for a swim in the swimming pool for a swim.. btw the swimming pool is open for 24 hours... where on earth can you find a swimming pool that is open for 24 hours?? Usually it is like 7am to 10pm.. which is super boring la.. anyway we went for a swim until about 9.30pm coming to 10pm.. there isnt much people at the pool and jacuzzi so we were pretty much in our own world.. which was good becoz I hate swimming pools with lots of people... anyway we went back to our room, showered for the second time in the row.. (the shower is simply too beautiful to resist.. give me such a beautiful bathroom at home and I swear I will love to make use of it every hour of the day).. then we settled down in the balcony for a chat and wine of coz.. the wine ended up tasting quite good with its fruity favours even though it is considered "cheap" wine... but still i decided to mix it up with Sprite becoz I simply cannot stand the "dry" aftertaste... so we sat there till about 12+ at night... then it's bedtime...

Woke up superb early the next mrning.. bo bian.. bio clock is set to wake up at 8am every mon - fri morning... went out for breakfast... the breakfast wasnt the most fanciful.. in fact the variety was pretty much lousy... porridge, cereals, fried noodles, bacon, scambled eggs, sausages, french toast and roti prata... plus juices, coffee and tea..they shld catergorise breakfast accordingly to room types.. give the normal breakfast to those staying in normal rooms and gave those Premium water chalets a better breakfast.. I mean the more you paid for the room of coz you want something better right?? Anyway after breakfast, time to say goodbye to the room and shower and it is back to Singapore... anyway more photos at http://www.flickr.com/photos/luvier

I spent 2 hours writing this blog.. thank god I am on leave today.. if not where got the time... Hahah.. and I just spent my remaining half of my holiday on blogging... alamak!!

Holiday!!!!

I am going to Avillion

THAT is not the most exciting part

The most exciting part is........

I am staying in the....

PREMIUM WATER CHALET!!!!

Even though it is only for one day....

Hah

I want to go shopping!!

Yes yes I wan to go shopping..

Not becoz I am rich and have no money to spend... becoz I have a lot of "needs" or maybe in fact "wants" on my list...

Things to buy...

1. A Handbag.. a proper looking hand carry bag.. something like this


(Taken from Lawrence's frenz online shopping website What2do.com)

2. A pair of casual slippers... something that I can wear out of my house yet presentable looking (they are still more comfortable than high heels...)

3. I need more jeans and tops!!! (I have not enough.. forever)

Crack your head...

have you ever try cracking your head over where to go for a holiday??

try me....

(gosh. and the thunderstorm outside of my window just freak me out somemore.the thunder simply flash through my window.gosh)

i am freaking cracking my head now over where to go for a holiday.

so many places i wan to go.

think abt the budget

and you got yourself a big headache

welcome to the world of "holidaying"

now you know why you always enjoy ur holiday??

Life can be lonely..

Life can be seriously lonely without love, family and frenz...

 

It is not only lonely, it is boring......................

 

For me, without any of the three, even missing one will make me feel so incomplete...

 

Imagine spending ur weekends with frenz only.. in this case you better have alot of frenz.. becoz if you only have a couple.. shld they be busy.. you will be left alone...

 

Imagine dragging yourself to work from Mon to Fri and then dragging urself home again to a empty house with no family or loved ones.. after a long day of work and you return home to be by urself again......... I nv like to return home to a empty house neither do I like to return home to a cold and unloving family....... of coz to me now, the best ideal is to return home to my loving husband... becoz I know I will be loved... at least for now...

 

I guess my mum has already been quite nice... from total objection to me staying overnight at his place.. (whenever I stayed over once in a while, she will call and scream and shout and blu blu blu... the war continue).... she has already managed to convince herself (I guess she must have a hard time doing soo... battling between the angel and the devil) and at least now she is now ok with the arrangement of alternate weekends... even though it is not the ideal.. I guess I shld be happy that at least she is willing to make the compromise.... I guess every parents are different and we shld not compare between parents and said "how come her parents do this and you do that"... just like every kid is different and you will have to cater to their differences to guide them along the journey of life... one way doesnt apply for all I guess

 

After all, no matter what they are my parents.. I can fight for my rights but I cant do disrespect...

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Internship....

I happen to watch Internship Challenge yesterday on Channel U, 9.30pm... I think it was the first episode yesterday.. and it just happens to be on my juniors (so I think).. I missed the front part of the show,that's why.. anyway when i tuned in to that particular channel.. they are already in the midst of an interview with Sentosa for an internship job.. and one of the guys mentioned that he was studying at Tourism Academy in Sentosa.. so I supposed he must be a student studying Diploma in Tourism Management in Temasek Polytechnic making him many years my junior...

 

Anyway it was fun to see them in an interview, especially on TV!!... I mean I went through the entire process many years ago.. but it is very funny to see it commercialised in a TV show.. imagine going for an interview with a video camera right smacked in front of ur face... so weird lo... Anyway i think 5 or 6 of them went for the interview and only 2 got the internship jobs in two different depts; Admissions and Beach ops... oh yah another funni thing is how weird izzit to have a video camera following u around on ur internship... They should have one following me around when I was doing my internship in XX company.... so they can see how crappy those people in the company treat interns... make me do data entry and paper shredding all day long....... all week long..... and for the entire bloody month my job is just to report to work, sit at my table shredding papers bits by bits, pieces by pieces... becoz their shredder is spoilt... wahahaha... and by the way I did my internship in a rather reputable company ok..?? Haha...

 

Anyway all i could think of while watching the show is "welcome to the reality of how fucked up tourism is in Singapore" wahahaha... from the looks of it, tourism is blooming in Singapore.. but tourism jobs are fucked up and the pay are damn lousy... less than or ard 1500 for a executive job in a travel agency...  less than 1000 for a job at the airport counter check in... it will be best if you can get a office job in airlines such as SIA, STB, CAAS or CIAS but considering that every year more than 400 students graduates from tourism / hospitality courses in SIngapore from the various institutions such as SHATEC and polytechnicis, you see how slim ur chances are.. maybe you can try your lucks in the front office department / F&B department of hotels... but ur pay wun be that high either.. attractions in SIngapore are really limited.. where else but the zoo, night safari, Jurong Bird Park, Sentosa.... if you can get into the office.. all the best.. if you can't you just have to be contented with a front line job like selling tickets, customer service etc which you dun really need a diploma for.. and I guess you know how much you can expect for your salary too..

 

From my last impression, only a couple of my classmates / coursemates are still in the tourism related industry... i think we have 1 or 2 still working in a travel agency... 2 or 3 in STB, 2 or 3 in CIAS / CAAS, 5 or 6 are air hostesses in various airlines.. 2 or 3 guys in the army as regulars.. the rest out and gone for a long time.. wahaha... I am in customer service in the bunkering industry.. have no idea how I landed up in this industry if you ask me.. some are studying psychology degrees.. some are studying business admin degrees... some got married with kids... some are in business admin or events or marketing... i guess we realise that sometimes passion is not enough to keep you going in a job... especially when money is such a important thing in SIngapore... it is getting to a point when a pay of SGD 1500 dun really get you anywhere... minus CPF and you are basically left with SGD 1200.. minus of personal insurance, transportation, food, parents' allowances, mobile phone bill, internet bill... you are left with peanuts...

 

Before you try to attract more people to work in the tourism and hospitality industry... take a look at the pay you are giving people first... not worth working your ass off for miserable peanuts really..... you got to work shifts, weekends and public holidays, you got to take craps and shits from the customers day in day out who treat you like some low class animals born just to service them and suck up their asses and toes... (there are of coz nice customers la.. but there are always rotten apples to spoil your day)... how pathetic...

New Blog...

Hey Guys...

I got a new blog... it's called 心灵物語 thoughts & inspirations ..

In this new blog of mine.. I will record down meaningful stuffs that I read from newspapers, magazines or books...

Hopefully it will be as meaningful to everyone that is reading this blog as it is to me...

Looking forward to..

Not e public holiday tomolo

Is this weekend instead....

Starting from Fri...

All e way to Mon...

Singaporean Tube Stories

Filled with

people who snatched so hard for a seat then alighted two stops later....

people who are not sleeping, with their eyes wide open yet refusing to give up their seat for a old man or lady who cant even stand properly...

people who lean their body and bum against e pole and refusing to let anyone else put their hands on 'their' pole in e crowded train...

Down Time..

It happens

 

Every once in a mth

 

To every woman alive

 

When you feel sulky and down

When everything just dun seem to go well..

 

When you feel ultimately depressed........

 

When you are sianz to the extreme

 

And you wish for a getaway...

 

But you tell youself...

 

It is only the Down Time now...

 

And that's why.....

 

 

 

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Autophobia

Autophobia refers to an extreme dislike of oneself, or being angry at oneself, commonly known as self-hatred or self-loathing.

It is true... I sometimes really hate myself...

I have a ugly face... fat and chubby yet full of acne, blackheads, facial hairs, open pores and pimple scars....only looks a little better under a layer of foundation and make up.... but still the round face, the ugly cheekbones and the fat on the cheeks still remains as ugly as it is....

My hair is as lifeless as it can be... long but useless.... unchangable and dead.... no hairstyle can ever be properly styled to look good........

I have yellowish skin tone... no matter how much whitening lotion I use... the yellowish tone remains.......... I am neither brown nor white... I am yellow.....

I have no hour glass figure... all because of my scoliosis which left me with nothing but protruding bones, fat tummy and a big stomach..........nothing looks good on me... all the clothes that I can wear and wore either makes me look like a pregnant woman or a clothes hanger... all because they are too tight or too loose.... maybe if I have bigger breasts nothing of all the above matters... but I dun even have what it takes.... I cant never choose my clothes.... I can only wear whatever that comes along.... whatever that looks "good" but can nv be as good... so what is the point of buying nice bras, nice underwears, nice shirts, nice skirts, nice jeans.... ultimately it will still look ugly on this body of mine.........

I dunno how to make up properly.. i dunno how to dress up properly... I see pretty gals with nice clothes on the streets... and I cant even wish I can be like that becoz I am not even 0.01% close...

What has Heaven given me?? Nothing but a lousy external shell....

I am a total loser!!!

DUM & DUM