a.simple.life

New addition to the family

2012-01-27T15:47:00.002+08:00

Our daughter was born into the Koh family on 13th January 2012. It's all exciting to become a parent all over again after 2 and a half years and everything feel sooo new... we have forgotten most of how we took care of Gerald and thus it really feel like we are starting all over again... but one thing for sure, at least we know how to carry our baby this time round... hahha..

I haven't posted in this blog for quite some time now and sincerely is not expecting anyone to be reading or following it... but I really wanted to blog about something that has been weighing heavily in my mind... breastfeeding...

Everywhere i go... be it in the hospital or reading books etc... it's talking about breastfeeding being good for the baby... Yeap I have no doubts about that.. but I cannot understand why we have to be "forced" to breastfeed... I do believe about giving the best to my baby... but my first attempt to breastfeed Gerald resulted in me falling into post natal depression... I have no support from my family... not from my husband not from my parents in law nor from my parents either... it's me and me alone insisting that i want to breastfeed with the entire world around me going against it... it's tiring enough to be breastfeeding every 2 hours.. it's even more tiring to have people telling you that baby is still hungry.. you should not be tiring yourself out etc...in the end I reluctantly gave up the fight and have Gerald on formula.. but he grew up to be a healthy baby nevertheless...

This time round, I decided I am not going to stress myself out and have myself going into post natal depression and so I have decided to take things easy on myself... nevertheless I do have to go through the whole self - convincing struggle that it's okay not to breastfeed.. look Gerald drank formula and he's healthy and what's most important is that our daughter grew up healthy and safe too!

But seeing articles on breastfeeding and the slogan of breastmilk is good for your baby still bring back the guilty feeling from time to time. In all the articles.. they all talk about having support, that it's tiring but it's what a mum can do best for the baby... it's a great bonding opportunity etc... in the hospital all the nurses kept forcing you to breastfeed the baby... but seriously why non of the articles talk about not adding stress to the mum? All articles talk about getting help if you are having problems breastfeeding but if you are a mum that is suffering from baby blues.. struggling and learning how to take care of your kid... the worst thing is to have to struggle to breastfeed with no support from family members.. how demoralising is that..?

I dunno.. that's just solely my point of view.. i am not trying to find excuses for myself not breastfeeding my baby but i think I do not want to stress myself out and risk myself going into post natal depression once again... This time round I want to fully embrace the experience of having my second kid... and that can be fulfilled even though I am not breastfeeding... hopefully my daughter will grow up as healthy as her brother...

Missing my blog?

2011-04-26T19:44:00.001+08:00

Haven't been updating for very long. As usual. Dun think anyone miss it other than myself. Hah

Anyway everything has been going quite normally as usual. There isn't anything interesting enough to talk about thus the reason for not updating.

I wanted to update on my Bali trip but it take a hell long of a time to post pics so I decided against it.

As for Gerald he look pretty much the same as he is a couple of months ago too! Haha. His learning ability has picked up alot now. Now u teach him one word he learn one word u teach him one thing he learn one thing. Basically whatever u ask him to say he will repeat it after u. So he can now say a to z and 1 to 10 and he can sing bits and pieces of twinke twinke little star and abc song in repeat mode. He learned alot of songs and stuffs at playgroup lessons so I conclude playgroup is good. At least now he can play with other kids... Though he still need some warmth up time beforehand.

As for me and Rick, it's still work, eat, sleep. Haha stagnant like a rock. So much so I feel myself turning moldy.

But overall everything is good. Nothing good nothing bad either. Boring post right?? Now u know why I always hesitate to post on my blog.. Imagine 10 posts of this?? Boring like he'll man.

Gerald got a new haircut

2011-02-23T08:43:00.001+08:00

Touched by my little baby son

2011-01-24T18:30:00.001+08:00

My son is sooo cute and adorable. So much so sometimes u just can't be angry at him seriously. Yesterday I brought Gerald to my parents place for dinner. The boy is recently learning how to eat using a spoon. But most of the times he use it as a drum stick and knock it on the table. So yesterday when he wanted to take the spoon I was telling him sternly no that is to eat not to play. But I gave him a empty one anyway. And he started digging around my plate of rice with his spoon as if he is trying to scoop rice with it. And in the end he did manage to scoop a tiny bit of rice and I thought he will feed himself and no he took the spoon and wanted to feed me!!! My silly boy.... Hahaha and then as he was lifting up the spoon the tiny ball of rice fell off the spoon and he actually said 'aiyoh..' before picking up the rice with his finger and feed it to me.... So touched by this boy of mine... Haha so much so I laughed until I cried... I wasn't expecting that but it just how how much that boy is attached to me doesn't it?? that little silly gesture of him really make me smile whenever I think of it.

Photo updates of Gerald

2011-01-14T18:35:00.007+08:00

Update on Gerald.

2011-01-04T22:57:00.001+08:00

Gerald playgroup started today. But today is just orientation. Tomorrow my mother in law is bringing Gerald to school alone as we reckon if too many of us go together he will get clingy and cry if he see us leaving. And my heart sure soften if I see him crying and the teacher not taking good care of him so I decided it might be better if I dun go. But today we left him at the table playing Lego by himself and he did and he didn't cry when he realized none of us is within his sight. He was shouting for attention which the teacher went over and talked to him but he refused to talk to the teacher and continued shouting. But he didn't cry which was good. In the end he got off his chair and came looking for us and he thought we are playing hide and seek. Haha. Took him a while before he is familiar with my parents seeing them once a week so it might be faster with his teacher as he see them every mon to fri I hope. He saw a car there that he really like. I think he is going to get stuck to the car!!! Haha the other kids wun have a chance.

2011 A New Beginning

2011-01-02T00:06:00.001+08:00

It's a new year. 2011. A new year a new beginning. I dunno what life have ahead. The only thing I know is I am going to do the same as what I have done for the past few years. Live each day as it passes.

Gerald is going to start playgroup this year and he will be turning 2 in May. I wish for him to be healthy and well for 2011. He will continue to remain the centre piece in my life. I wish that me and my hubby will be as loving as before. No major obstacles or hurdles in our marriage. As for me I dun believe in new year resolutions as I never seem to fulfill them. But I hope to pick back up my running shoes, go swimming more constantly and live a healthier lifestyle than the past few years. And make more money that's for sure!! Huat ah!!

Couple rings

2010-12-23T17:36:00.001+08:00

We went shopping yesterday at Bugis Junction. Ultimate goal: to look for a pair of wedding bands. Reason being the careless me actually lost my wedding ring during a trip to Malaysia. sob sob

So recently we started our search for a wedding band again. Been to Tian Po, Goldheart, D Meyson, Sk and a few goldsmiths to look look see see. At first our idea is to buy just a pure ring with no designs and no diamonds as it symbolizes the purest love. But yesterday our search ended up Sk. And we didn't get a pure ring. We got a set of platinum rings two tones silver and yellow gold with jagged edges. Sometimes buying rings is just the feel. Both of us really like it at first sight. Despite it not being what we started out with we still decided to go ahead.

Our first set of rings was quite cheap. We didn't have much money and we didn't have much knowledge and experience in buying a ring so we went for something with gaps which accordingly to Chinese saying it's not good as the marriage will have gaps too. This time we went for something a little expensive as we think if we are going to wear it for long it will be worth it after a while.

However as my finger size is too small they need to hand custom make it in japan and the whole process will take 3 months!!! Oh my god by the time we get the rings it will be in mar next year.... Haha that's very long. Never mind it's worth it.

Missing Toowoomba

2010-12-15T09:58:00.001+08:00

That missing feeling is back again. Despite me refusing to live a life in Australia, once in a while I still misses those carefree days in Toowoomba. Those days that we have steamy hot steamboat in cold weather days, those days that we drove to Brisbane and Gold Coast for a short getaway, those days when we just gathered at a friend house to chit chat, those days that we go to town for lunch/dinner and clubbing. Oh and those days that we sat on the lawn in campus enjoying the sun and breeze in autumn having our sandwiches and those winter days when we sat in the campus cafe having a nice warm hot chocolate..I even missed those days we went grocery shopping and those cooking days. And I missed my kebabs, my quiches and my super spicy Tom yam noodle soup!! Those were the days sia. I will really love to go back there again one day to re visit all my old memories. Argghh I want to go back to Toowoomba!!

Determine to live

2010-12-09T17:29:00.001+08:00

I will never let anything or anyone put me down. No matter what happen I will live on with my life. I will never give up my life for anything. Until the day death claim me, if not I will never send myself to him. There are people who wanted to live but dun get a chance to. So I am determined to live my life till the very end when life is taken from me.

Will move on

2010-12-09T12:45:00.001+08:00

Haiz never mind. This will become part of my memory. I will continue with my life. And I hope she will too. I don't want to talk to her but I am sure other people will say the exact same things as what I have to say.

Full of anger

2010-12-09T12:41:00.001+08:00

Full of anger at her foolishness!!!! Simply just can't get over it. Already 30 years old and still commit such a foolish mistake. It can cost you your life, your future forever!! Why can't you just look ahead!! There are soo many beautiful things that could happen ahead of you but all you see is the past and now.... Haiz seriously....

I dun know if you are still angry at me for saying those things to you but I just wanted you to wake up to reality. You kept complaining about him but you still sticked by him refusing to leave him. You said I was rude to tell you all those things and from then on refused to talk to me. I am fine... But to see you falling deeper and deeper... Haiz i have done my part. It is all out of concern for your own good. I don't want you to become another victim and yet you became one of the worst victims ever.

Now what? It has became reality. I and many of the people around you have proven our words. If you would have listened to us then... Yes to be fair for a while I too thought he will change for you and maybe you have the power to change him but I realized I was wrong. He will never change. But why are you so foolish????

It's not worth it!!

2010-12-09T09:29:00.003+08:00

Just got news yesterday that a friend friend ex gf committed suicide the day before. Thanks god she didn't die but the whole incident left me damn furious and disgusted. Why is she so foolish? Why is she so stupid? To give up your precious life over a bloody worthless guy!!

I know both her and her ex. The guy is totally crap. Always not working. Never stay in a proper job for longer than a year. A dreamer. Always dreaming of achieving big but never ever taking action. Hello if you dream but you never take action, how do you expect to succeed? And he spend her hard earned money. She is not earning much in the first place but he spend her money. Hello it's seriously time you wake up your mind!!!

Pure disgust. seriously. Angry and disgusted that she committed suicide over such a useless guy. Everyone around her has been telling her to break off with the guy. She refused to listen. Saying that she can change him and he is willing to change for her and he is changing. Come on it's all sweet talk. When you realize he get himself a job and quit the next, you should know he is not serious about changing at all. I suppose at that point of time she is so deeply madly in love with the guy she is in denial mode and no matter what others say she refuses to listen. Look what came true. Haiz. I knew when they got together that nothing good is going to come out of it but I also know no matter what I tell her it's no use.

But you dun have to kill yourself over the guy!!!! Arghhh that's what pisses me off. I wish I could go to the hospital give her some hard shakes and scold her and let her wake up her mind. Yes you got ditched by the guy but hey there are other guys out there. Only by living on will you meet the guy who will treasure you for who you are. Maybe you might meet the right one. Only by living on. By dying everything is gone. You are not even giving yourself the second chance.

You are just being ditched don't you even have the ability to move on with your life??? You are in control mentally and physically, you can do it yourself. Why do you let such a worthless guy put you down? Are you that weak that you cannot even take control and live on?? Stand up bravely and move on! There are better things ahead!! There are people out there who want to live but yet are struggling to live and you have everything to live on properly but you choose to give it up. What a irony.

What about your parents and your true friends? They are so concerned about you what will happen to them when you die? Your parents especially. They gave you life support you through school and you gave up your life and everything else over a guy who might just become a passer by in your life. Haiz

And the best thing is the guy know about her committing suicide and he continue his life as per normal... partying and merrymaking away...This guy is seriously not worth it, gal. You will meet someone better. Just live on.

Gerald as a photographer

2010-12-03T20:15:00.001+08:00

Gerald took it using my phone front cam. Clever boy! But my haircut is damn messy. The photographer didn't prepare me for the shot. Hah

Emptiness & loneliness

2010-12-01T19:41:00.002+08:00

I am not sure why but today suddenly out of the blue I felt quite lonely. It's like I have devoted my life to my family, my kid and my work all my life and then turn around and realize I have no friends to hang out with. My daily routine is work n home after. Weekends is family n never out with friends. Even if I go for my occasional pampering facial and pedicure it is by myself and never with a friend.

I have two gal friends who I hanged out with for dinner sometimes when the 3 of us are free to meet up. Other than that., no more. All my other friends even though we are in touch via Facebook have grown apart after all these years. They have continued with their life in a different way that I can no longer connect to them and there are no more common topics to chat about. Even though I have known some for more than 10 years now.

I suppose this could be how some wifes and/or mums felt when they have devoted their life to their marriages and their family and their family and/or marriage life collapses. They are left feeling empty, disconnected and neglected. The life buoy that you have been holding on no longer support you and the world that you have been living in just collapses into pieces.

That's why they said emptiness/loneliness is a scary thing.

Farked up day at work

2010-11-29T23:21:00.001+08:00

Damn pissed off with work today!! Arggghh!!! Thanks god there is Gerald to hold my hand and give me a hug when I reached home...

Bintan Agro Resort_Nov 20-21,2010

2010-11-27T10:08:00.018+08:00

We booked a 2D1N trip to Bintan Agro Resort from 20-21 November to celebrate both our birthdays in Nov. It's been a long time since we last went on a trip by ourselves. the last one was to Phuket in Jan 2010..so this trip was really a good getaway for both of us to rebond and spend some good time with one another...

Bintan Agro Resort is located in the south-eastern coast of Bintan Island. You have to take a 1 hour and 45 mins ferry from Tanah Merah to Tanjung Pinang followed by a 45 mins transfer from the ferry terminal to reach there.

We took the 8.50am ferry from Indofalcon and thus we set off to Tanah Merah about 7.15am. Parked the car, got our ferry tickets, went for a quick breakfast (coffee, tea, bread and eggs), quick smoke, went through the boarding gate and onto the ferry..the lower deck of the ferry is already full by the time we got on so we had to sit on the upper deck which is open... becoz it's early morning, the sun isnt scorching hot.. thanks god... and the sea breeze was damn good in the face.. not too bad after all..

On the ferry

After about 1hr and 30 mins, we arrive at Tanjung Pinang. The queue to clear customs was really long and it really took us quite a while as we were almost towards the last of the queue..Met up with the local staff from the resort who will arrange for our land transfer and after about 45 mins drive, we arrived at the resort!! Checked in and went straight to our room..

Our Junior Suite

View from our room

The room was big and spacious. Rest & relax for a while before heading out to the Asiana Bistro and Bar for lunch. Hubby ordered Fried Rice and I ordered Fried Noodles. His came with fried egg, satay and rice crackers and mine came with fried chicken wing and fried egg. Nice....

View from Asiana Bistro & Bar

While waiting for food

Nice Food

After that, we took a walk around the resort.. it's a nice quiet resort with a recreation centre providing some sea sports activities and day tours to nearby islands, 2 places to eat, 1 spa and 2 small swimming pools..good for people like us who are not planning to do much anyway. They spent quite a bit of work to keep the grounds green & tidy.. you kept seeing people sweeping the floor of leaves...clearing puddles of waters, trimming weeds etc.. me and hubby grew up in kampungs so we are quite fine with the whole rustic kampong feel to the whole place..

After our walk, we went back to the room and I caught up with some sleep.. getting a little dazed from not having enough sleep.. haha.. then we went to our spa session at Oceania Spa at 4pm Indo Time.. Hubby went for thai massage which was conducted at the outdoor beach gazebo at the beachfront (Nice!) and I went for the aromatheraphy massage which is conducted in one of the rooms with seaview.. but there isn't any point seriously since you can't hear the waves neither can you feel the seabreeze neither can you see the seaview as you are facing down?? Still prefer the spa at KTM resort. I signed up for a 90 mins sessions but most of the time seem to be spent on massaging my legs as compared to my shoulders and the indo lady that was massaging me didnt have a very good command of English so I never asked her to do more of my shoulders.. never mind.. at least we both had a massage

Stayed in our room for a while since we are not that hungry from our very late and filling lunch.. only headed out for dinner at the Sun Moon Restaurant and Bar at around 8pm coming to 9pm i think.. ordered steamed rice with baby kailan, oatmeal sotong and chilli crabs with beer! I had the chilli crab craving for a long time now and I am so happy that I finally get to lay my hands on crabs! The food is seriously good...and it's good to have a proper nice meal with hubby...

Our Dinner
Hubby with his food

Then it's back to the room for more beers and sleep! Woke up super early the next day because the sun was super bright and shining into the room at 6am in the morning.. gosh.. and I thought I can sleep late... duhz.. but anyway we managed to fall in and out of sleep until 9am before we headed out for breakfast.. breakfast spread was okay.. much better than the fried rice, fried beehoon and fried noodles plus bread at KTM. They have counters cooking eggs, fried kway tiao and roti prata, lotong, fried fritters etc etc.. at least more varieties.. had a good breakfast, confirmed our late check out at 3pm and stayed in the room till then.. (since our land transfer is only coming at 4pm and our ferry is at 6pm Indo time..). Checked out and headed over to Sun Moon for our lunch.. which is Sun Moon fried rice (very special) and sambal kang kong.. (another craving of mine)

On the way to Sun Moon

Me & hubby
During low tide

While waiting for food
Our Lunch

Then it's time to make our way home... the top deck of the ferry this time is packed with people.. maybe because it's night time and not so hot as compared to the morning or afternoon ferry but at one point I was seriously thinking the ferry is overcrowded man... but anyway we made our way home safety and by the time we got home, it is already past 10pm... home sweet home

一切掌握在你手里

2010-11-23T20:18:00.001+08:00

小时候，因为身体的一些缺陷，被同年龄的同学给排斥，给他们取笑。那个时候很伤心。不知道人家为什么要怎么说我。我妈当时跟我说，别人要怎么说你不要紧，不要去管他们。别人的嘴巴是他们的，他们要说什么随便他们。不要因为他们所说了而影响你以后的生活。命是你的，生命也是你的，你要怎么过是你自己的事，跟别人没有关系。

其实有一些事发生时好像是一件很大的事，那个时候很生气很伤心，可是过后就会发现其实没什么。人要看开。不看开的话，一切都很重要，生活永远都难过。佛学说生不带来，死不带去，一切要放下放开，亲情，爱情，金钱等等。我没有那么伟大。我放不下我的父母，我的家庭，我的爱情，还有我的孩子等等。太多太多的东西，抱住不愿意放下。所以我选择了珍惜。珍惜现在所拥有的一切。至少到我走的那一天，虽然不能带走任何东西，至少我拥有过，我有回忆，我也给了别人回忆。人生原本是那么简单。

Birthday

2010-11-22T19:07:00.001+08:00

In the past birthdays are meant to be celebrated for myself. After I became a mum, birthdays have taken on a brand new meaning. Birthday meaning birth - day: is the day my mum gave birth to me after going through 9 months of pregnancy and hours of labour pain. From this day onwards, my mum began her never ending job of taking care of me and worrying for me. So every birthday is much more symbolic than mothers day. Thus all my birthdays will now be celebrated for my mum, who gave birth to me on the very day known as my birth - day. Just like I told Gerald on his 1st birthday, this is the very day I gave birth to you.

Sulky Gerald

2010-11-18T18:15:00.001+08:00

He is all dressed up and waiting by the door to go out

But we continue to dilly dally and the boy got impatient

Haha silly little boy.....

My new hairstyle

2010-11-12T17:02:00.001+08:00

New haircut

2010-11-12T09:21:00.001+08:00

Basically got sick of my hairstyle so i am going to walk into a hairdresser today and get them to give me a new hair style and a brand new look. Hmmmm wondered how it is going to turn out.

Playgroup search...

2010-11-10T19:21:00.003+08:00

Time really fly.. Last year I just gave birth to Gerald and now he is 18 months and going to a playgroup soon! After which he will be going to nursery then kindergarden then primary school.. wow..

Anyway I am clearing my annual leave for this week so I got a couple of things on my list to do.. brought Gerald to the polyclinic for his last injection and a development checkup.. Of coz everything is okay... hubby is on leave yesterday also as it is his birthday.. so after Gerald check up, we went around looking for a centre near us that offers playgroup classes which Gerald can join next year 2011... as we were too late yesterday, all the centres were closed so this morning, I went to have a look again while classes are going on together with Gerald and my mother in law. Preferred the one at blk 32 as compared to blk 8. But we'll see..

He will get the chance to socialise with other kids and learn how to play as a group which is good because at home, being the only son, he is always by himself.. need to learn how to share, give and take... I believe it will be good for him...

Gerald latest update

2010-11-07T22:23:00.001+08:00

He is a big boy now! Just turned 18 months a few days ago

I'm back!

2010-11-06T17:12:00.000+08:00

Haven't been able to blog for quite some time now..(last blog was in Feb10..OMG).. but now I 'm back...hopefully with the help of a iPhone 4.. it will encourage and enable me to blog more often in the future... I am actually quite keen to keep this blog going because I want it to be a record of Gerald growing up...not so much for people to see but more of the things that happened in my life and in our life.. so we can look back and remember some things that we might have forgotten 10 or 20 years down the road... after all I have been writing my blog since 2004! That's 6 years running!

Updates

2010-02-03T13:48:00.000+08:00

Wow I havent updated since Jan 19. Haha..

Nothing much happening with Gerald recently..

He is down with a virus infection.. been coughing and sneezing with runny nose for the past week. and is currently on antibotics medication... but he is recovering (I think) coz he is slowly starting to increase his milk and also sleeping better in the night... just thank god he didnt have fever...

He still cannot crawl... neither can he walk.. but he is surely using a lot of his energy by hitting the table and anything he can get his hands on.. throwing things onto the floor... rolling around his bed and onto his tummy, trying to stand up by holding onto the table or anything that he can grab on.... he can mumble but I am not sure whether he have any ideas what he is actually talking about or he is just making sounds for the fun of it... I sometimes think he find it real amazing to have sounds coming out from his mouth... he sometimes go "mamamamaaa... papapapaaaa... ahhhhh maaaaa... " but not sure whether he know that 'mammmaaaa" refers to me as his mother and vice versa..

His two bottom teeth is now completely visible but his two top teeth doesn't seem to be coming out as yet... been "stuck" for quite some time now.. Let see.. he is now 9 months.. we will be bringing him to Genting Highlands for the Chinese New Year break.. will be his first time away from home for a holiday... hope he will enjoy it.. and hope he will do fine... if he does, we might consider bringing him to Australia when he is 1 yr old... which is in another 3 months... gosh that is fast..!!!

Gerald sat up.

2010-01-19T12:40:00.001+08:00

Gerald is becoming more and more amazing these days.

Yesterday while me and hubby are changing clothes for him, he managed to pull himself up into a sitting position from a lying position! Me and hubby got so shocked that we were staring at each other and gerald for like 5 mins! Wow!

Updates

2010-01-02T23:28:00.000+08:00

It's 2010!!!! Gerald is already 8 months old and another 4 months later, he will be 1 year old!! Wow doesn't time simply flies..

He is now at his teething stage and starting to become rather fussy... but he is also starting to understand a little of what we are trying to say or tell him or show him at times.. like when he finished his food, we will say no more.. and show him our empty hands and the empty cup/bowl and he will understand and if he is still hungry, he will also try and tell you in his baby language by going.. ah ah ah or if he is really hungry... mummm mummm.. like the other day we say we going gai gai and he actually went over to the door and waited..

Nowadays he has also become rather clingy.. he wouldnt let you out of his sight now.. once you disappeared from his sight.. he will start crying.. which is rather bad.. especially when you urgently need to use the loo! He haven't start to crawl even though he already have the pose.. hahaha.. and he is starting to pull himself up from a sitting position.. to a standing position... even though most of the times he ended up sitting back onto the floor... the other day he stood all by himself.. while holding on the table of coz.. and today he actually walked quite a distance holding on to his walker... with me supporting behind him.. woohoo.. although I can already imagine myself chasing after him when he can walk all by himself.. oh no..

Latest pics of him

Importance...

2009-12-21T16:49:00.000+08:00

Was reading a magazine the other day.. and came across this very meaningful paragraph in the article...article is in chinese.. so here's the translated version....

To love someone, sometimes it is very difficult..
Because of him, you now have to worry...
You become too busy worrying that you lost yourself
And forgot about why you are both so much in love...
Without him, yes you do have more of your own space..
But still every night you hope he will sleep by your side
Everywhere you go, you hope he will come along with you..
He has become so important, that you become more paranoid..
Only when you learn to let go, then you will love him more..

Somehow Gerald has become him... because of him in my life, I am constantly worrying... so much so I lost myself in the endless world of worrying about him... sometimes I do crave for my own space.. but still a part of me remains with him.. still worrying.... what is he doing now, is he sleeping, is he eating well.... the list continue... I hope to see him by my side.. and yes I have become paranoid.. so much so I can't enjoy my time with him without worrying if a "Ah" mean something... other than him trying his best to talk...

A frenz asked me the other day.. so when can you rest? I replied.. not till the day I died.. becoz he is my kid and he is my worry forever till the day I died... that's a mum for you... now I completely understand why my mum still insisted on taking care of me now even though I insisted that I am already a adult and know how to take care of myself.... that's a mum for you... that's mums around the world

Long time..

2009-12-19T09:15:00.002+08:00

been a long time since i last updated this blog.. but i haven't forgotten it at all...

life has been full ever since Gerald came into our life.. hardly have time to do anything else, personal and couple wise..other than Gerald growing up, the rest in my life seem to be at a standstill.. no more nothing... no more romance, no more couple time, no more my time... when we go out Gerald is always in tow.. even if he is not, we also dunno where to go.... i spent most of my free time with Gerald.. because i wanted soo much to be part of his growing up process.. so it has almost become work and Gerald..

me and Rick is making a long trip to Phuket.. 5 days 4 nights.. it's going to be our 1st trip on a plane.. and we are planning to do lots of snorkelling... hopefully the trip will do us good.. although in fact we just made a 2 days 1 night trip to Port Dickson by ourselves.. but finally everything is booked and confirmed.. so now we just have to wait...

finally realised how much i have aged... with my yellowish looking skin, it's worse and double the impact.. suddenly feel like a old hag.. and i just got married for 2 years, my kid is just less than 1 yr.. i looked around at my peers and sometimes think... did i make the right choice in my life...?? when everyone is enjoying their youth at their prime.. i am married and with kid..

there is always a start to everything.. so i hope it is still not too late now to go for facials to revitalise my skin, to have a proper skincare regime to maintain it, to learn proper make up to enhance my looks further and to have a change of wardrode.. there are things i cant change.. but hopefully i can still change the rest..

hopefully 2010 will be better... get rid of the old and the bad, and move on to a new beginning and hopefully a new life...

More Photos of Gerald

2009-12-10T21:16:00.000+08:00

Gerald at Sakae Sushi..

Gerald trying to drive Daddy's car..

Announcement
Gerald now has his first two front teeth!!!

He is a model

2009-12-10T18:55:00.000+08:00

I like this pic of Gerald a lot. He looks like a model in a mag shot or something

UPDATE

2009-11-27T12:45:00.000+08:00

Havent update for quite some time. Gerald is growing up!

Chair at Toys r us

2009-11-13T19:47:00.000+08:00

Gerald very cute chuckle!

2009-11-08T22:45:00.000+08:00

High Chair

2009-11-08T22:23:00.000+08:00

Brought Gerald out to AMK Hub today together with my parents.. my parents brought a walker for Gerald so he can sit and play in it whenever he is over at our place during the weekend..

After which, we went down to Sembawang for dinner since my bro is flying off to Australia tomorrow... and for the first time Gerald sat in a high chair.. and this time he seem happy about it.. the previous time we tried to put him in a high chair he started crying the very min he was in it.. I am surprised this time he didnt make a big fuss..

Pictures of him happily enjoying his first high class dinner experience..

Ball

2009-10-26T09:38:00.000+08:00

Mr Gerald trying to roll himself into a ball.

1.5 million

2009-10-21T23:12:00.002+08:00

If I have 1.5 million.. this is what I will do

1. Go for my long awaited Maldives honeymoon
2. Change my Kia Picanto for a Honda Jazz and pay for it at once in full
3. Pay off all my current 3 installments (CPF, Laptop and KKH)in full
4. Pay off the remaining loan amount for the house in full
5. Buy a condo/HDB in full, which must be in a good popular area so i can rent out to earn rent
6. Top up Gerald baby bonus account to the maximum of SGD6000 which the government will add another SGD6000 to make it a total of SGD12000 and earn the interest for the next few years
7. Buy a few lots of shares for the few good companies who have been giving out good dividends.. that will give me a fair share of dividends each year

That should still leave me with quite a bit to invest into a fixed deposit account... while I continue to work for my daily expenses...but no more fixed expenses because it has all been paid off...

Dreaming...

New clothes

2009-10-21T09:10:00.000+08:00

Gerald in his new clothes (that is supposed to be for a one year old). Haha and he fit in just nicely

Gerald first Orchard trip

2009-10-19T09:44:00.000+08:00

Brought Gerald to Orchard Road today. It is the longest time we ever stayed at one destination with Gerald in tow. Went out around 1.30 and stayed there till 8 or 9pm. And we only walked from Forum Shopping Centre till Orchard Central.

Gerald is starting to play with toys. Brought him to Taka and i took a bear and put it in front of him and he kept laughing, squeaking and giggling at it. It is a really happy laugh and it is perhaps the first time i see him laugh without having to tickle him or talk to him in funny languages. Wanted to buy it for him but the soft toy costs 80 bucks! Just a normal fluffy soft toy. Didnt take a pic of it. This boy really know how to choose. We brought him around the store and no other toys managed to do the trick. Never mind he will start putting it into his mouth anyway. He is putting everything into his mouth!

Quite happy with the trip and i think Gerald had fun exploring Orchard too. Amazed at all the lights and everything that is going on around him. I predict there will be more of such trips in the future.

Beautiful Baby

2009-10-13T23:37:00.000+08:00

I was reading the Oct issue of Mother and Baby and there was this article "My baby was born with a hideous birthmark". The story is about this mother who was shocked when her daughter was born with a port-wine stain.

The first paragraph said

My first reaction whe I saw my dauughter after 39 hours of labour was shock. I was expecting to gaze at a beautiful little face but instead my baby had a huge dark purple mark covering her eye and most of the left side of her face

That got me thinking of the very day Gerald was born. When I am pregnant with him, I kept dreaming horrible dreams about my baby being born with problems.. disabled, scarred etc.. horrible dreams that got me waking up in shock at night and it basically haunted me for the remaining days of my pregnancy.. I didnt know what to expect.. especially when none of the scans managed to get a good view of Gerald face... even though the doctor said it's normal.. but I kept telling myself.. that's just the appearance.. what if.. I guess I was just preparing myself for the worst just in case...

When I regained conscious after the operation (I cant do a half body C-Section because I cannot have epidural due to my scoliosis, so I ended up doing a full un-consicious C-section operation), the first thing I asked the nurse was "how's my baby". But the nurse said she didn't get to see my baby.. and when they wheeled me out and when I saw Rick, I anxiously asked "how's the baby". And only when he told me he is okay.. only when I saw his picture on Rick's mobile phone.. then I finally felt a sign of relief... I have given birth to a beautiful looking baby...even though we haven't done the hearing test as of yet.. When I finally got to see Gerald face to face.. I was thanking God that none of the dreams came through..

Born to be a mother

2009-10-09T09:41:00.001+08:00

No one is born to know how to be a mum. It is something that you have to experience and learn as you go along.

I was almost on the brink of falling into post natal depression when Gerald was born, being weighed down by the guilt of not being able to take care of him physically from the beginning, the guilt of not being able to breast feed him and the disappointment of not having enough support for me to continue to breast feed. I was very emotional and crying over every little things and staying away from Gerald just in case my depression got the better of me.

Being a new mother i didnt know what to expect. I have high expectations for myself being some one who has a very strong character. I thought things will go the way i thought and wanted it to. To realise nothing went the way i thought. And i just got angry. Angry that no one is saying things i want to hear, doing things the way i want to be done.

Thinking back now, everyone just want the best for gerald and me. I am glad i didnt do anything stupid. I still feel guilty for not being able to breast feed Gerald till now. But that cannot be changed. Slowly i will become better because i just want the best for my baby.

How many months?

2009-10-06T09:32:00.001+08:00

Now whenever i see babies outside, the first question i feel like asking is 'how many months?' And i think i am not the only mother out there who have this burning question in mind because i see others asking it too! Haha

We brought Gerald to Rick cousin ROM and there was another baby there. His size is much smaller than Gerald even though he can pretty much sit unsupported. I thought he is younger than Gerald. Turned out he is 6 months old. Haha

Just saw another baby with his father on the train. Really wanted to ask him that question because the baby seem to be around the same age as Gerald. Maybe slightly older as the baby can stretch out the hands and request to be carried. Gerald only reached out his hands to grab stuffs. But they are too far away from me so i didnt ask in the end. Disappointed.

Bumbo seat

2009-10-04T22:46:00.000+08:00

Gerald in his Bumbo seat.. he will not be able to sit inside in for long... his thighs are getting too big for the chair.. have trouble trying to pull him out of the chair once he is inside.. hahaha

Sofa

2009-09-30T23:41:00.001+08:00

Gerald sitting on e sofa all by himself.

Tired

2009-09-30T23:41:00.000+08:00

I am tired..

I need a holiday and a break!

Mum & Working Mum

2009-09-30T23:23:00.000+08:00

It's really difficult to be a mum and working mum...

That's why so many people nowadays rather be concentrating solely on their careers and chose not to have babies.. or have a baby, quit their job and be a full time housewife...

Reason is very simple.. because you can never be in between.. especially not at the beginning stages of your baby's life..

Juggling between work and family (parents, parents in law, baby, husband) plus not enough slp every night is enough to tire you out...

Government are giving out more baby bonus.. more maternity leaves... childcare leave... to try and encounter more babies... at the same time they are also encountering more females to join the working force... is it enough??? NO! The longer maternity leaves had the mum worrying that she might not lose her job now but she will lose her job when she get back... sure you can sue your employee but the end result will always be "sorry but your job is gone.. look for another one"... the money given is not enough to last till one year.... you have a few good companies with very good benefits for mums such as flexible working hours, work from home etc but can I ask.. how many mums actually get to work in such a firm... less than 50%... most worked for SMES... who ultimately cares about their day to day commercial operations than family.. ultimately the company need to survive.. bottom line period.. who cares about you wanting to spend more time with your family..

Is a balance between all affecting factors in my life achievable at all?

Updates...

2009-09-23T10:26:00.000+08:00

Ok I havent been updating for quite some time..

I have a couple of videos I wanted to upload but I am just too lazy to transfer them from my mobile to my com.. and the videos are too big to upload straight to blogger from my mobile.. so those got to wait..

Gerald has reached a couple of new milestones... he can now hold his own water bottle.. (but not milk bottle because that's too big for him)...he can now roll over by himself (and he love doing that..).. he can now "walk" on the floor in his walker.. (previously we put a wooden board underneath to use as a floorboard as his feet cannot reach the ground then).... he cannot really walk properly.. but can move his own walker to and fro and backward by pushing his body to the side and back... he is now starting to observe stuffs and is very curious about the world around him.. and by doing so.. refuses to drink his milk properly.. we will have to shove and fight our way to get him to finish his bottle... if not he will just drink till he's ok (not full yet because less than 3 hours later he will start crying for milk again and the cycle repeat itself), push the teat out and refuses to drink anymore..and he is still drinking 120ml of milk.. (seem a little too little for me for a 5 mths old baby)..and he can go 4 - 6 hours withoout milk whenever we bring him out.. (woo hoo save milk powder but poor Gerald seem to have lose some weight because of that).. but when we are outside.. no matter how we push the milk bottle to him.. he just refused to drink it... what can we do? Because he is so curious about the world outside.. he love to go out..he love to sit car... which is good because I want him to see stuffs, mix around with crowds so he is not afraid of noises and strangers..

The previous Sunday 13th Sept, we took Gerald back to Batu Pahat, my mum hometown to visit my grandma and pray to my late grandpa... luckily he slept most of his way there.. however as he now recognises familiar faces.. he will cry when he see a unfamiliar face.. so he was crying whenever he see my mum, my dad and my grandma face and I have to carry him most of the times.. Quite sad that he cannot recognise my parents face because they are his grandparents too.. I tried to bring him over once every week but dun think that's enough... but he is just a baby.. so I hope when he grow older, he will know my parents as his grandparents too..

Got to prepare to go to work now.. update again..

ROLL OVER

2009-09-19T12:53:00.000+08:00

Gerald on his tummy

Car seat

2009-09-06T21:12:00.000+08:00

Gerald has a new car seat today. A proper one with 5 point harness and his own seat belt!

Nikoi Island

2009-09-02T15:24:00.002+08:00

Me and hubby are both thinking of going for a holiday during the New year period.. 1st Jan to 3rd Jan since it is a Fri - Sun long weekend.. and Nikoi Island is one of the destinations that we have been looking at for a long time and always didn't have a chance to go..

The previous time we checked availability one month ahead and it was fully booked.. can't remember when was that for.. and I was advised to book 3 months ahead... and now I am checking availability 4 months ahead and still it is fully booked!! ARGHHH...

This is soo unbelievable.. If you are interested to fight with me... visit www.nikoi.com

Gerald Photo Blog

2009-09-01T13:38:00.000+08:00

Make a Smilebox photobook

I just did this and I am sooo proud of myself.. It's perfect!!

4th month

2009-08-29T14:27:00.000+08:00

Today is Gerald 4th month birthday accordingly to the chinese lunar calendar. Accordingly to the chinese tradition, we must shave off the baby hair and let the baby wear shoes. And for that he is extremly well dressed today. Look at him dun he look like a one year old, with jeans and polo tee! Thanks to Uncle Zhaowei for the gift.

Bumbo

2009-08-28T15:48:00.000+08:00

I must get a baby bumbo seat for Gerald! How come I dunno anything about it till today? Was speaking to a colleague about when his baby can sit by herself when he mentioned that they let her sit in a bumbo at 4 months. And i am like what bumbo. Then i searched and realised it is such a amazing thing! Who wan the high chair, Gerald cant even sit properly in it without being all strapped up. He need a bumbo! Ok i am overly excited and amazed at my new discovery, so much so that i wish i can pop into Kiddy Palace now and buy one now so Gerald can sit in it tonight. Although i am not sure if Gerald legs will fit but who cares! Think about it later! I tried to find a second hand bumbo but it is all sold out! High demand man. Damn

Long update...

2009-08-27T22:49:00.002+08:00

Ok.. it's been a very long time... ever since my last post in May... many of the people reading this blog will most probably think that I have already closed down my blog.. or practically chose to ignore it.. but in fact I didn't... hahaha

This blog is mainly about me and my hubby... but ever since May, there has been a new center in our life... ever since the birth of our baby Gerald, he has become the new center stage, all attention are focused on him and both our lifes surround him and him only... leaving not so much time for myself or ourselves... but of course we will try and spend as much couple time together as we can...

Gerald has a blog at chrisrickandbabygerald.blogspot.com. As mentioned previously, he is the center stage so of course the blog is very updated.. hahaha.. If I have some time to spare, I will most probably be updating his blog rather than mine! Hah.. it has to be a detailed record of Gerald growing up so I am pretty determined to get the site running.. hahaha.. should you not see any posts on this blog, try Gerald..

Gerald playground!

2009-08-26T21:43:00.000+08:00

My house is slowly turning into a playground for Gerald.. look at the many things that he has till now! And it is still accumulating..

First row (from the left to the right): Web chair where he often has his afternoon naps as it is airy, his old rocking chair where he will sit and play with his 3 little white teddy bears, his high chair to be used around the dining table when he can sit, for now it is just for him to sit for fun and his walker where he will learn how to walk, for now it is just for him to sit for fun too. Second row (from the left to the right): his stroller, his cot, his play gym and his rocking horse.

One corner of the living room has turned into his playground filled with all of his things! He is taking over the living room

Self conscious

2009-08-26T13:57:00.000+08:00

Now on the train on my way to work. There is a very pretty gal with a very handsome young man sitting in front of me. Then met a very old frenz that i know since sec school but have lost contact ever since. He could hardly recognise me.

Suddenly felt very self conscious of myself. My short messy and grassy hair, my pale and dull face with no make up and no natural glow or brightness, my out of shape figure with a spare tyre around my tummy. Suddenly feel so ugly.

Baby Brianna

2009-08-24T23:16:00.000+08:00

This has nothing to do with Gerald and this will NEVER EVER happen to Gerald.. This is a perfect example of what a unloving mother is.. and that surely can never be me!

How can she possibly treat her baby this way! If she dun want the baby, why didnt she just abort it or have a miscarriage? Why give birth to the baby in the very first place?? I cant say anything for the dad or uncle because they never went through the whole 9 or 10 months of pregnancy but the mum surely did... and still don't feel any love for the baby?? She is such a cute baby!!! Whenever I see Gerald sleeping peacefully I think he is such an angel.. I seriously cried at the last part of the video...

I cannot bear to even think how would the baby feel... the only people that she rely and depend on since the first day of birth actually abused her this way... how sad would she be if she understand what's going on... to be lying by herself..noone to play or chat with her... and whenever she is picked up she is being beaten and abused!! And she is just a innocent baby who have no idea!! Who will smile at you whenever you carried her... how can you possibly do this to your child!!! Wun your heart ache when you see the bruises all over your baby and realised it is all your doing.. and your baby is still smiling at you because she know you are her mother??!!

The parents should be hanged! Seriously pissed off

Walker

2009-08-24T10:24:00.000+08:00

Gerald has a new walker over the weekend. And he love it!

Beach outing

2009-08-18T18:20:00.000+08:00

My father in law brought Gerald a baby carrier and I carried him to the beach for a walk.

Warning

2009-08-15T21:20:00.000+08:00

Hey u! I am warning u now. U better give in to all my wishes or else........

2009-08-13T22:37:00.000+08:00

Updates

2009-08-13T22:15:00.000+08:00

Havent updated for quite some time. Quite busy working and the remaining time are all spent with Gerald..

He recovered from his fever last Friday evening.. thank god.. he has his last doasage of his medicine on Friday afternoon when his temperature shot to 38.5 degrees and I was just about to bring him to the doctor when I thought maybe I should let him have his medicine and monitor to see if things get better and indeed it did.. thank god...

For the next few days he wasn't drinking much milk, maybe because he has no appetite after 3 days of illness but now he is back on track.. draining every single bottle of 120ml of milk.. woohoo! My Gerald is back!!!

Found out today that my lady boss daughter who is born about 3 weeks earlier than Gerald didnt have a fever when she had her polio injection.. so good.. although I am sure all kids will fall ill at some stages.. heard from my mother in law that they will also have fever when they are teething and they will be super uncomfortable and fussy during that period too.. hmmmm

Gerald now weigh 7kg.. he is a heavy boy! But he is not overweight mind you... he is perfectly healthy and fine... just right for a boy.. woohoo... and he is now 61cm... wow how much he has grown!

He is now trying to sit up straight even though his back/body is still a little weak and couldnt really support his head right now.. But he love it... and he always want us to carry him in a upright sitting position.. no longer lying on the arms.. and he is as talkative as usual.. hahaha...

Pictures coming soon..

3 mths medical check up

2009-08-05T21:23:00.000+08:00

Gerald is having fever!!! At one point the thermometer had a reading of 38.1 degrees. I got a shock of my life seriously.. he was okay after the polio injection in the morning.. came back drank his milk played and slept as per normal.. then when I woke him for his milk at 2.30pm, he drank only half.. and then he fell back to sleep.. and his temperature was still fine..

Later at 5.30pm he only drank 30ml out of 120ml.. and he seem to be moaning in pain.. and that really got me worried... and despite me cuddling on to him, he was still crying non stop.. and his temperature read 37.9 degrees and I panicked. I took out the cooling patch that I brought for him and sticked that onto his forehead to help him relieve the fever.. it didnt help much so I gave him medicine and lots of water.. he didnt want milk...3 attempts in gaving him milk and he only drank 20 or 30ml.. and he still look very uncomfortable.. pain my heart to see him like that.. my little boy is uncomfortable.. poor Gerald..

Hopefully he will be fine tomorrow...

Cot mobile

2009-08-05T15:16:00.000+08:00

Cot mobiles are usually for bed time. However it is a different case for Gerald. His cot mobile is part of his play time!

The happiest photo

2009-08-05T15:11:00.000+08:00

This photo is e happiest and most beautiful of all

Wrong date & baby resort

2009-08-02T22:09:00.000+08:00

Alamak. I actually remembered the wrong date for Gerald next appointment. Thought it is on 4th Aug but actually it is 5th Aug!! The clinic sent me a sms to remind me of the appointment on the 5th and I was in total disbelief.. even suspecting the clinic booked the wrong date.. came home and checked Gerald's health booklet then realised it is me who got it all wrong... dohz.. Went to take leave on 4th and 5th Aug because Gerald is going to take his first polio vaccine injection and the nurse warned us during the last appointment that he might get high fever and discomfort so I thought it is best for me to take leave and attend to him solely just in case. * touch wood* *fingers crossed* Now I have to shift my leave to 5th and 6th...

Was searching through the net the other day for a baby friendly resort.. not kid friendly because there are lots of those around..usually for 2 years and above.. baby friendly because we are thinking of bringing Gerald for a holiday end of the year. By end of the year Gerald will be around 7 months old.. but sad to realise there isnt one around in Asia.. Why isnt there any?? I am sure lots of parents would like to take their baby on a holiday... the resort can arrange for some baby activities in which the family can enjoy together.. like maybe a gymboree club, baby massage classes, baby swimming classes, baby yoga.. the closest I can find is Club Med who has a Baby Welcome programme in which they provide babies equipments such as strollers, bottle warmers, baby bath, changing table and even baby food.. which is really nice of them.. but then again Club Med is expensive because it is a all inclusive resort.. so it is a waste of money if you don't ultilise fully what they have included in your package.. Yes there is a option of a baby sitter but no thanks.. I am not going to leave Gerald to a baby sitter.. god knows what she will do when I am not looking.. And I am sure the hotel will let me sign a agreement that say something like "the hotel will not accept responsibility for anything that happens to your kid when he/she is with the baby sitter" I am not going to take a chance...

I read in a motherhood forum about someone saying "why bother taking your baby on a holiday when he/she cant even remember". I disagree with that.. It got nothing to do with whether the baby can remember where he/she has been on a holiday..(by the way there are something in the modern world called photos!) to me (please note in my view only) it is more of doing something interesting with your baby, letting him/her see something else other than the same things at home... hey babies get bored too you know.. being coped inside the home.. playing with the same toys over and over again.. doing the same things over and over again.. how boring..!! Maybe someone will say "how do you know.." I don't know for a fact frankly speaking but I do know Gerald does love to go out every weekend! Maybe it is because sitting in his infant car seat in daddy car is a different rocking chair experience.. hahaha.. maybe he just enjoy looking at other things.. he always turned his head whenever something interesting caught his attention.. anyway the search for a holiday destination with Gerald end of the year continues..

Gerald love piggy

2009-07-30T19:31:00.000+08:00

I have this soft toy piggy that have been with me for ages. And I introduced piggy to him the other day and he smiled! Thank god I have my mobile on hand to capture this shot

Passport Photo

2009-07-29T20:17:00.000+08:00

Gerald finally has his own passport photo...!! A proper one with him looking at the camera in the correct posture and with a white background..

Next we are going to apply a passport for him.. and once we have it.. yippess Gerald can go on road trips!! He love sitting inside his daddy car and he love watching the scenary going past the window.. basically he love anything new.. so I am sure he would love a road trip to Malaysia... we wanted to bring him back to Batu Pahat so he can visit my grandma and pray to my grandpa.. I am sure my grandpa would love to see Gerald.. even though I believe he has been around us all the time..

Then as Gerald grows older, we can bring him for a holiday.. Maddy has already flew to UK at the tender age of two months to three months.. so why can't Gerald go for a holiday too!

Pictures

2009-07-28T12:49:00.000+08:00

Pictures pictures and pictures!

It's very obvious he didnt like wearing his cap, isnt it?? Hahaha

Role playing..

2009-07-20T22:58:00.000+08:00

In front of my parents, I have to be a good daughter
In front of my brother, I have to be a good sister
In front of my teacher, I have to be a good student
In front of my workers, I have to be a good colleague
In front of my husband, I have to be a good wife
In front of my baby, I have to be a good mother
In front of my parents in law, I have to be a good daughter in law
In front of society, I have to be a good social person

Finally!!

2009-07-08T23:35:00.000+08:00

Finally I managed to take a proper photo of Gerald laughing and smiling.. and he looks damn cute!!

More photos coming soon... finally decided to transfer all the pics from my phone to the com... however should I not have a chance today or tomorrow.. the fastest will be next week as I am off to Redang this Sat!! Will only get back to SIN on Tues.. still have a whole day leave on Wed sooo hopefully I will find some time then...

New Pics Update

2009-06-29T14:43:00.000+08:00

He looks really cute in this shirt and short. Please take note; it is meant for one year old toddler!! And he is already wearing it at one month!! Oh no...

His yandao side view

Family portrait. We are one happy family... becoz he is sleeping....

Gerald doing tummy time..

Gerald with daddy. That shirt he is wearing is meant for 0 to 6 mths. And it is already bursting.. he can no longer wear it anymore...

Gerald playing in his soft gym early in the morning..

Updates...

2009-06-24T19:13:00.000+08:00

Gerald has been good nowadays.. his milk consumption has just increased from 90ml to 120ml this week... he has been sleeping through the night (even though he still make lots of noises while he is sleeping, which means me and my mother in law still can't go to sleep in peace).. he is starting to settle into quite a bit of routine.. when he is awake, he is waving his hands, kicking his legs, finding someone to play and talk to, when he is not, he will be slping... wake for about 3 hours, sleep for the next 3 hours.. and so on.. I hope this continue..*touch wood..

We are bringing Gerald to Gymboree www.gymboree.com this Sunday.. it will be his first lesson... and since he is quite curious about stuffs and have quite a bit of energy to spend.. we hope Gymboree will do him good... he likes to be put on his tummy and he is already starting to support his head quite well whenever he is on his tummy... and he likes to look at things... colourful things... however all these have to be done when he has enough milk and enough sleep.. and it is only like 2 hours in the day?? Hahaha..let hope he will enjoy Gymboree this Sunday...

I am halfway through my post natal massage package...I took it with Babies Bellies Javanese Massage and Spa www.babiesbellies.com.sg.. came across them at the Motherhood Fair.. their package is quite reasonable.. the post natal massage is said to help with the contraction of the womb and shrinking of the tummy.. they basically do a full body massage to help you get rid of wind... then they applied jamu then do a wrap.. my stomach did shrink a little however you can still see quite a bit of my tummy.. sianz... frenz said it will at least take 3 - 6 months.. I hope by 6 mths... my stomach will be back to its normal before-pregnancy stage...

Returning back to work in July.. ultimately I have to let go sooner or later anyway.. so instead of staying at home (starting to get quite boring) fighting for the baby with my mother in law.. I have decided work is a better option... will I miss Gerald??

2009-06-16T18:35:00.000+08:00

Scissors paper stone. Mine is stone! You lose!

Redang!!

2009-06-14T23:09:00.000+08:00

Yippess we are going to Redang!!! Not with baby Gerald of coz.. hahaha.. just me and hubby!!

This is a self-rewarding trip to myself for going through the 9 months of pregnancy.. ahhaha.. and also a very good time for me and hubby to re-bond and spend some quiet time together by ourselves.. (since we havent had any chance since Gerald was born)..

And the most impt thing is... away from Gerald!! Ok maybe my maternity instincts havent totally set in yet.. or maybe I am jus pure selfish... I heard stories of people going overseas and worrying about their babies who is back home... but seriously I am soooooo happy that I am going on a holiday that Gerald seems to have become second on my concern list.. maybe when we set off for the trip, things will change..

But now.. I am jus sooo happy... the last holiday was like half a yr ago in Dec.. when me and hubby drove to KL.. argghhh I simply can't contain my excitement..!! Gerald will hate me if he see this

2009-06-10T17:36:00.000+08:00

Look at e way Gerald sleep! How can you not laugh/smile when you see him like that?

things with kids..

2009-06-10T16:06:00.000+08:00

The thing with your own kid is....

One moment he makes you super angry, pissed off, irritated, frustered.. so much so that you wish you can give him a tight smack in the face/butt or worse throw him into the nearest rubbish bin..

But the next moment when he give you a cute smile or some weird funny expressions or use his tiny fingers to cling on to your shirt or your finger, you start smiling/laughing at how silly he is

Then you seem to have forgotten how angry he make you just a few mins ago..

Those are the times when you cant help but to think that he is really a angel and a devil all together in one tiny package... born to make you happy yet have enough power to torture you mentally and physically for the many years till the day you die

P/S: Plus he looks super cute when he is slping...

Random pics update

2009-06-09T13:33:00.000+08:00

Random pics update..Gerald at one month old.

Checkup 4 June

2009-06-04T16:12:00.000+08:00

Brought Gerald to the polyclinic today for his Hep B injection as well as a physical development check up. He is now 4.7kg... gained a total of 1kg since birth... and he grew taller by 3cm.. now a total of 54cm...

New stuffs for Gerald

2009-06-02T21:17:00.000+08:00

Me and Rick went to Kiddy Palace today after Rick came back from work to buy some stuffs for Gerald...

Stuffs brought
1. Diaper rash cream
2. Milk warmer
3. Baby wet wipes
4. Diapers
5. A new rocking chair..the first one that we brought is not really suitable for this hot weather recently.. he seems very uncomfortable as he sweat while he is napping in the chair so we decided to buy him this one.. which have holes underneath and thus have the proper ventilation to cool down his neck and back...

6. Soft gym.. similiar to the pic below

It is all money!!

Baby Gerald Full Month Celebration

2009-06-01T16:14:00.000+08:00

Celebrated baby Gerald full month yesterday..

As me and Rick were taking care of the baby overnight from Sat to Sun, we were both quite stoned on Sun.. especially me.. becoz I didnt catch much slp... Gerald is slping throughout the night but as he is feeding every 2 hours.. by the time i put him to bed after half an hour of feeding and burping routine, another half of hour spent trying to make myself slp.. and by the time I slp, it is barely half an hour or one hour before I need to wake up again to make milk.. and even then, whenever he make some noises my eyes will open to see what's wrong... and by 7am he is awake and wanting to play.. so the poor mum have to carry him out to the living room, put him to the rocking chair and rock him with her legs while falling aslp on the sofa..

When my mother in law took over, it's already 8am.. and she wanted me to help Gerald cut his fingernails.. he kept moving his hands and I am sooo super afraid to cut him lo... hahaha.. but luckily I didnt.. then I wanted to catch some slp.. but I couldnt so I decided to give up.. and got up instead to help with the preparation for the buffet..after moving everything into place, I took a shower while Gerald is having his... then by 11+ the buffet is set up and the guests start to arrive at around 12pm.. everyone is anxious to see Gerald, everyone is playing with him.. and it's good to see some of our close frenz after sooo long!

Afterwards we took Gerald back to my place at 5pm to pray pray.. then to a temple to pray pray then out for a drive to Katong where we need to drop off the cakes at a relative place.. Gerald was slping throughout the drive around.. too bad.. but anyway I didnt want him to mix with strangers becoz I dun wan him to catch any virus.. hahaha.. so we headed for home...

Today I think Gerald is suffering from the after-effects..

Need a holiday..

2009-05-29T15:26:00.000+08:00

Gerald dun need slp... he has soo much energy to wave his hands, kick his legs, cry and play from morning till late afternoon everyday...but yet at a young tender age of 1 mth old, he is starting to develop black eye rings around his eyes... sooo much so until even me and my mother in law (2 adults mind u) get tired attending to him and he on the other hand is still wide awake and have no signs on even wanting to close his eyes...

I want a holiday! I still thought I can bring him on a holiday since he will be slping throughout.. haha.. guess it is all wishful thinking on my part... slp is surely not on his timetable at all!

Gerald is not slpy at all!

2009-05-28T15:42:00.000+08:00

Gerald has been awake from 6am this morning to 2+pm just now. And just when me and my mother in law thought we can finally catch some slp while he is slping, he woke up and started crying non stop... and despite whatever we do, he dun seem to stop... in the end my mother in law have to switch on the aircon and carried him until he fall back to slp.. he is used to the air con?? OH no....

2009-05-27T17:49:00.000+08:00

Misses...

2009-05-25T15:12:00.000+08:00

I miss my long hair...(think I look so much better with long hair than curly short hair.. the long hair that I have to give up due to my confinement...

I miss my pregnancy and pre-pregnancy days.. those are the days when I get to go out as and when I want and eat whatever I want to..

I miss those quiet days spent lazing around thinking of what to do and where to go... or just laying in bed watching tv...

I even miss those weekends when we have nowhere to go and we get frustered thinking of where to spend the hours...

Those days are gone... and I will never get them back...

In replacement.. I have a baby who wants someone to sit besides him and play with him or rock his chair when he is awake... and petty enough, leave me with only a few hours in the day when he is soundly asleep for me to do stuffs... but even those hours.. I will still be on standby mode becoz a little cry or a little noise will trigger me into "See what's wrong with baby" mode...

Isnt that cool?? -_-"

Baby Full Month

2009-05-22T18:07:00.000+08:00

Baby full month celebration is fixed on 31st May 2009. Supposed to be on 4th June 2009 but becoz it is a Thursday, we decided to do it earlier.

Didnt realise that it is going to be soo troublesome.. much worse than our ROM... at least for our ROM we can jus invite whoever we want.. this time we have to consult the grandparents from both sides... hahaha... more brainstorming and more this one can that one cannot.. making decisions even harder...

Becoz we are doing it at home.. we have decided to keep it close and personal... a buffet for family and relatives... and cakes for the rest... cant invite everybody becoz sure no place to sit...

Attention seeker

2009-05-21T09:30:00.000+08:00

My little baby is a little attention seeker..

When he is slping, he will occasionally take a peek through his eyes to see if anyone is around him...

If not, he will make some noises, stretch his body hoping that that will attract somebody to go check on him..

When someone did or if he peek and see somebody sitting besides him, sometimes u will notice a smirk on his face afterwards..

My little Gerald boy... he is only freaking 2 weeks old!

baby trouble?

2009-05-18T16:50:00.000+08:00

Hmm... my boss is right...

Baby is soooo cute when he/she is slping.. or maybe when he/she is awake "quietly" playing with himself/herself by waving his/her hands in the air and kicking his/her legs..

But he/she can totally be a nightmare when he/she is crying non-stop.. and simply refuse to hear anything that you got to say... (of course I know they cant understand it now...hah) but no matter what you do.. you are just unable to pacify him/her!

The one thing that I find very interesting... among all the frenz, family and relatives that have been over my place to visit me and baby.. everyone seems to find it damn amusing or even funni when baby is crying non-stop and when me and Rick are trying damn hard to pacify him... what the hell is going on??

New pics update!

2009-05-18T14:51:00.000+08:00

New pics update!

Gerald loves his doggy!

Brought a beanie pillow for baby. He seems to like it quite a bit! Haha.. anyway look at his sleeping position.. super funni..

Who do I look like?

2009-05-18T10:38:00.000+08:00

The ultimate question that everyone is asking: who do I look like? Mummy or daddy?

Those were the days....

2009-05-14T15:44:00.005+08:00

I missed those days when we can just go out as and when we like... for supper in the middle of the night when we are hungry... or for a causal drive around... or to the dam / waterfront for a walk... or somewhere where we can enjoy a slow nice meal together...

I missed those days when we can just plan for a holiday as and when we like.. without having to think about money, leave and others.. or simply jus drive into Msia over the weekend for a overnight getaway...

I missed those days when we get to spend all our time together, lazing in bed watching discovery channel till late at night.. or sitting side by side surfing the net... or hugging each other tightly in bed and having a chit chat before falling asleep in each other arms..

Those were the days... and I really missed those days..

Busy day today

2009-05-13T19:38:00.000+08:00

My father in law took urgent leave today so he drove me to KKH in the morning... went for my follow up appointment at the Private Suite. Asked the doc why my stomach hurts even till now and she said it is becoz my stomach is being over-stretched with Gerald previously inside and now my stomach muscles are too laxed to support the gravitational pull of all my intestines etc weighing down on my stomach whenever I get up from bed or chair... seriously I thought the gravitational pull is so much worse than when I am pregnant... anyway the stitches were removed today at a very expensive price of $15.50... just a cut of the scissors.. kaos... and my wound is okay.. but currently my wound is being covered by my stomach.. I still look like a 4 mths pregnant woman even though I have already given birth..doc said I will at least need 6 mths to tone back my stomach.. provided I do sit ups on a daily basis... alamak.. I also asked about the ugly stretch marks.. and the doc told me that mine is sooo serious until even the slimming agencies wun be able to do much.. the only option I have is laser usually done by plastic surgeons.. I think Gerald has indeed caused some very serious damage... haiz...

After the check up, I went to register the birth for Gerald. KKH services is f-up as usual... the counter accidentally pressed my number while serving another so in the end they skipped my queue number and went on to serve the next lady after me.. never mind.. I barely warm my chair when they informed me that I will need to change the address on my IC from my previous add to my husband add where I am staying now... cool... I have to walk to Tanglin police station next door about 10 mins walk to change the address before walking back again... usually I will think it is quite easy... but today it is a very tedious walk for a very short distance... anyway I made the trip to and fro.. and finally managed to get the birth certificate for baby Gerald in the end...

Went to the polyclinic to meet up with my parents in law and baby afterwards... baby Gerald is very good today.. never cry during his blood test.. and he is cleared for jaundice... yippess... next appt will be 1 mth later...

Chinese Name

2009-05-12T20:09:00.000+08:00

We have finally decided on Baby Gerald full name.

His name is Koh Yong Hong Gerald. Chinese name is 许湧鸿

Will be going down to KKH for my follow up appointment. Will register the birth for baby Gerald at the same time. Gerald will get his birth certificate tomorrow!! Yippess

Then got to rush back to bring Gerald down for his follow up appointment at the polyclinic. Gerald will need to do a second blood test to test for jaundice... hope everything is okay..

GERALD SMILE!

2009-05-12T18:33:00.000+08:00

Managed to catch a pic of Gerald smiling today!

Photos as promised

2009-05-09T13:41:00.000+08:00

Here are the photos as promised.

We decorated the baby nursery on Sat, that very night before I was admitted to hospital. I think it is really very pretty.. hahhaa

Newborn Baby Gerald

Baby Gerald @ 3 days old

Baby Gerald on his way out to his first polyclinic appt in his new stroller

Baby Gerald @ 5 days old

Baby Gerald is here!

2009-05-08T12:47:00.000+08:00

Baby Gerald is here!! I am going to do a very quick blog summary while he is slping right now... and I only have a 2 hours gap..

Got admitted to KK Hospital on my exact estimated due date Sunday 3rd May. Was scheduled to be induced as the baby is still high and have not dropped into my pelvic yet. After about 1 hour of monitoring my contractions and baby heartbeat, the induction went ahead at about 3pm. After about another 3 hours of monitoring, I was transferred to my room at about 6pm to wait for any progress. Was doing squatting exercises in my room as the nurses said it will help to speed up the process. My water bag broke about 9pm together with a show (bleeding), so I was transferred back to the delivery suite so they can make sure that everything is okay. Doc came to check, told me I am about 3 to 4cm diluted and indeed my water bag has broken and that the dilution will continue about 1cm every hour. By then I was in major discomfort and the doc advised that I will have to survive the night as I will only deliver in the mrning.... so the question came on whether I would like an epidural (which I have been insisting on no all along).. but after 7 hours I am sooo mentally tired that I went straight for the epidural option thinking that at least I can slp through the night in peace... so the doc sent for the anesthesiologist.. and in the end after evaluation, he said sorrie he cant do an epidural for me as I have a scoliosis operation on my spine and as there are two rows of screws drilled into my spine, he is afraid he might not find the right position and he might cause an infection in my spine... so I have to go through the night with just nitrogen oxide. I tried that and it makes me feel sick and nausea.. yucks... so in the end I didnt slp till morning.. not even a wink of slp.. bloody hell.. and I was tolerating the pain throughout the night by breathing alone! I swear that is the most terrible night ever ever in my entire life until now!! And the worst thing of all, I can feel pain but my contractions are soooo inregular, sometimes even half an hour apart and sooo weak (I can feel it) that it isnt doing its job of pushing the baby into my pelvic at all!! By 7pm 17 hours later, I am sooo ready to give up the fight becoz I know I am not making any progress at all and I dun want to drag things any longer.. so once the nurse came in for a check at 7pm, I told her I want a C-section the very next slot she can get my doc on... haha and I got what I wanted! By 8pm, my doc came down, I was wheeled into the operating theatre and by 8.20pm, baby Gerald is born!!! (Damn it, I should have chosen a C-section in the first place, fucking hell went through a 18 hours labour process when I could have everything over in 20 mins.. damn!!)

Anyway I was completely unconscious. Usually C-section are done half body but I cant do it again because of my spine so I think by the time I woke up it was about 9am.. I asked the nurse if my baby is okay and she said she nv see the baby so as I was being wheeled out, I saw Rick waiting for me at the corridoor.. poor guy, I was being pushed in in the rush and he got blocked outside... so he is worried sick! I so wanted to hug him when I saw him!! But anyway I asked him about the baby and he said everything is okay.. hahaha.. thanks god! He described the baby more to me when we got back to my room.. but I am so tired I am drifting in and out of sleep until about 3pm. In the meantime Rick kept going to the nursery to look at baby Gerald and only at about 3pm when I am fully awake, then he went to request for the nurse to push the baby into our room for me to see... when he cried, I felt so helpless being confined to my bed and not being able to cuddle him and I kept asking Rick to pacify him.. haaha..

But we were both very happy when I got discharged 3 days later on Wed 6th May.. finally an end to a uncomfortable hospital stay and we are bringing baby Gerald home!! Where he will get to see his nursery for the first time (nursery photos in Rick phone..will upload when he has it transferred to his com).. and now.. it is the fifth day since Gerald is born... and his second day at home.. he is doing well... enjoying his life eating and slping and crying... hahahaha.. we took him to the polyclinic yesterday for his medical check up for jaundice and he is cleared.. so heartpain to see him crying during the blood test... must be very painful for him.. hahahaha.. anyway keep a lookout for pictures... will upload when Rick transferred the photos out of his phone..

Freaking out...

2009-05-03T11:24:00.000+08:00

Freaking my nerves out.......

Damn scared of the unexpected......

Check up @ 39 weeks

2009-04-29T15:37:00.000+08:00

Went for the last baby check up on Monday.. since my estimated due date is on 3rd May...

Did a CTG scan for baby heartbeat as well as my contraction rate. baby heartbeat is normal.. I am having contractions at about 15 mins interval..

Went to see doc after the CTG scan... she then proceeded to check if I will go into natural labour by myself within the period of this week.. and the results was quite disappointing... doc said that baby is quite high up.. apparently it hasn't even dropped into the pelvis yet... and my cervix is not diluted enough... only a fingertip she said... not satisfactory at all.. so she estimated I will most probably pass my due date and will most probably need help in terms of an induction... haiz... to think that I have been trying to avoid an induction for soooo long, previously because baby might be overweight and too big for me to give birth naturally and now in the end after waiting soo long, the result is still the same.. I will still have to go for induction..

Anyway Rick is right.. as long as mother and baby are safe... everything else doesnt matter... why even worry about the birth method as long as the baby comes into this world safety.. true...

I am trying to walk more, relax more and keep myself in a upright position more often in order to encourage the baby to drop into the pelvis.. hopefully it will work... however all the walking is freaking tiring..! I can barely stand/walk for like 5 mins before I start panting for breath, get a terrible backache and a urge to sit down to rest.. lousy me.. not sure if it is my stomach or just the entire body trying very hard to cope with the heavy weight..

The pressure is on...me.....

2009-04-28T08:47:00.000+08:00

I dunno why am I feeling this way...

But with soooo many people such as colleagues, neighbours, aunties, uncles, relatives, grandmas asking the question of when am I going to give birth every single day... I suddenly feel like the pressure is on me to deliver and perform..

Not deliver the baby.. but deliver a promise of a cute little chubby baby boy who everyone want to see or go ooomph over... it is like everyone is on standby to see the baby and criticize him... oh he is sooo cute.. oh he has so much or so little hair... oh his hands are so chubby... oh he has a birthmark... and the list goes on... he will become the main conversation topic of everyone... grandma to auntie... auntie to uncle... auntie to auntie... and neighbour to neighbour.. everyone will be going "did you see her baby.... he has this this this or that that that..."

And inside my brain there are thousands of "what if..." going on...but noone else seem to have thought of the "what if..." except me... everyone seem to think that by the time I deliver, they will see a cute little chubby baby.. and that's it.

I know I am jus thinking too much and I know I need to relax.. but as the day get closer, my thoughts just started snowballing.. and now it is at its ultimate peak where I can't help but fall into the deep valley of anxiety and frustration... I have been carrying the baby for 39 weeks now and now the happiness of looking forward to a baby seems to have turned into distress.. and expectations has risen so high that I am not sure if I myself can deliver.... or maybe those expectations are put in place by me myself.. I dunno... it jus seem like I and many others have a set of expectations for the baby that I need to fulfill and I am jus worried I might not be able to reach them... that's all