Couple rings

We went shopping yesterday at Bugis Junction. Ultimate goal: to look for a pair of wedding bands. Reason being the careless me actually lost my wedding ring during a trip to Malaysia. sob sob

So recently we started our search for a wedding band again. Been to Tian Po, Goldheart, D Meyson, Sk and a few goldsmiths to look look see see. At first our idea is to buy just a pure ring with no designs and no diamonds as it symbolizes the purest love. But yesterday our search ended up Sk. And we didn't get a pure ring. We got a set of platinum rings two tones silver and yellow gold with jagged edges. Sometimes buying rings is just the feel. Both of us really like it at first sight. Despite it not being what we started out with we still decided to go ahead.

Our first set of rings was quite cheap. We didn't have much money and we didn't have much knowledge and experience in buying a ring so we went for something with gaps which accordingly to Chinese saying it's not good as the marriage will have gaps too. This time we went for something a little expensive as we think if we are going to wear it for long it will be worth it after a while.

However as my finger size is too small they need to hand custom make it in japan and the whole process will take 3 months!!! Oh my god by the time we get the rings it will be in mar next year.... Haha that's very long. Never mind it's worth it.

Missing Toowoomba

That missing feeling is back again. Despite me refusing to live a life in Australia, once in a while I still misses those carefree days in Toowoomba. Those days that we have steamy hot steamboat in cold weather days, those days that we drove to Brisbane and Gold Coast for a short getaway, those days when we just gathered at a friend house to chit chat, those days that we go to town for lunch/dinner and clubbing. Oh and those days that we sat on the lawn in campus enjoying the sun and breeze in autumn having our sandwiches and those winter days when we sat in the campus cafe having a nice warm hot chocolate..I even missed those days we went grocery shopping and those cooking days. And I missed my kebabs, my quiches and my super spicy Tom yam noodle soup!! Those were the days sia. I will really love to go back there again one day to re visit all my old memories. Argghh I want to go back to Toowoomba!!

Determine to live

I will never let anything or anyone put me down. No matter what happen I will live on with my life. I will never give up my life for anything. Until the day death claim me, if not I will never send myself to him. There are people who wanted to live but dun get a chance to. So I am determined to live my life till the very end when life is taken from me.

Will move on

Haiz never mind. This will become part of my memory. I will continue with my life. And I hope she will too. I don't want to talk to her but I am sure other people will say the exact same things as what I have to say.

Full of anger

Full of anger at her foolishness!!!! Simply just can't get over it. Already 30 years old and still commit such a foolish mistake. It can cost you your life, your future forever!! Why can't you just look ahead!! There are soo many beautiful things that could happen ahead of you but all you see is the past and now.... Haiz seriously....

I dun know if you are still angry at me for saying those things to you but I just wanted you to wake up to reality. You kept complaining about him but you still sticked by him refusing to leave him. You said I was rude to tell you all those things and from then on refused to talk to me. I am fine... But to see you falling deeper and deeper... Haiz i have done my part. It is all out of concern for your own good. I don't want you to become another victim and yet you became one of the worst victims ever.

Now what? It has became reality. I and many of the people around you have proven our words. If you would have listened to us then... Yes to be fair for a while I too thought he will change for you and maybe you have the power to change him but I realized I was wrong. He will never change. But why are you so foolish????

It's not worth it!!

Just got news yesterday that a friend friend ex gf committed suicide the day before. Thanks god she didn't die but the whole incident left me damn furious and disgusted. Why is she so foolish? Why is she so stupid? To give up your precious life over a bloody worthless guy!!

I know both her and her ex. The guy is totally crap. Always not working. Never stay in a proper job for longer than a year. A dreamer. Always dreaming of achieving big but never ever taking action. Hello if you dream but you never take action, how do you expect to succeed? And he spend her hard earned money. She is not earning much in the first place but he spend her money. Hello it's seriously time you wake up your mind!!!

Pure disgust. seriously. Angry and disgusted that she committed suicide over such a useless guy. Everyone around her has been telling her to break off with the guy. She refused to listen. Saying that she can change him and he is willing to change for her and he is changing. Come on it's all sweet talk. When you realize he get himself a job and quit the next, you should know he is not serious about changing at all. I suppose at that point of time she is so deeply madly in love with the guy she is in denial mode and no matter what others say she refuses to listen. Look what came true. Haiz. I knew when they got together that nothing good is going to come out of it but I also know no matter what I tell her it's no use.

But you dun have to kill yourself over the guy!!!! Arghhh that's what pisses me off. I wish I could go to the hospital give her some hard shakes and scold her and let her wake up her mind. Yes you got ditched by the guy but hey there are other guys out there. Only by living on will you meet the guy who will treasure you for who you are. Maybe you might meet the right one. Only by living on. By dying everything is gone. You are not even giving yourself the second chance.

You are just being ditched don't you even have the ability to move on with your life??? You are in control mentally and physically, you can do it yourself. Why do you let such a worthless guy put you down? Are you that weak that you cannot even take control and live on?? Stand up bravely and move on! There are better things ahead!! There are people out there who want to live but yet are struggling to live and you have everything to live on properly but you choose to give it up. What a irony.

What about your parents and your true friends? They are so concerned about you what will happen to them when you die? Your parents especially. They gave you life support you through school and you gave up your life and everything else over a guy who might just become a passer by in your life. Haiz

And the best thing is the guy know about her committing suicide and he continue his life as per normal... partying and merrymaking away...This guy is seriously not worth it, gal. You will meet someone better. Just live on.

Gerald as a photographer

Gerald took it using my phone front cam. Clever boy! But my haircut is damn messy. The photographer didn't prepare me for the shot. Hah

Emptiness & loneliness

I am not sure why but today suddenly out of the blue I felt quite lonely. It's like I have devoted my life to my family, my kid and my work all my life and then turn around and realize I have no friends to hang out with. My daily routine is work n home after. Weekends is family n never out with friends. Even if I go for my occasional pampering facial and pedicure it is by myself and never with a friend.

I have two gal friends who I hanged out with for dinner sometimes when the 3 of us are free to meet up. Other than that., no more. All my other friends even though we are in touch via Facebook have grown apart after all these years. They have continued with their life in a different way that I can no longer connect to them and there are no more common topics to chat about. Even though I have known some for more than 10 years now.

I suppose this could be how some wifes and/or mums felt when they have devoted their life to their marriages and their family and their family and/or marriage life collapses. They are left feeling empty, disconnected and neglected. The life buoy that you have been holding on no longer support you and the world that you have been living in just collapses into pieces.

That's why they said emptiness/loneliness is a scary thing.