Year 2007 Review

This is the time of the year to look back on the past one year.. actually I think this year seems to pass a little bit faster.. or is it because nothing much happen this year?

We collected Baby Pica on the 29th December 2006 so Baby Pica is officially a year old on 29th December 2007. Happy Birthday Pica!!!

I passed my traffic police test in July ~ on my first attempt!! Haha... I started learning my driving beginning January.. rethinking back the first lesson was a scary experience.. but I think after 6 mths.. me and my driving instructer really built up rapport with one another... we chatted alot about everything under the sun and we joked about stuffs as I get more and more relaxed behind the wheel.. he kept telling me that I can make it one.. dun be afraid and true to his words, I now have my driving license on hand and in my wallet... that's something that I am very proud of...

We started planning for our marriage beginning of 2007.. it took us a year to finalise stuffs..the venue, the rings, the barangs barangs... then there was his proposal!!.. oh my god.. but anyway to think that my affair is already very simple.. imagine more complicated marriages... they need at least 2 or more years..!! Haha.. thank god mine is simple... and sooo ladies and gentlemens...whoever is reading my blog... frenz or strangers.. I am getting married in the beginning of 2008.. the new year of 2008 will be a totally new beginning as I walk into a new pharse of my life and I believe it will bear a whole new meaning in my life...

Attended Litque and Carol's solemnisation at Changi Village Hotel in September... quite beautiful place... dinner was not too bad too.. Jian Ling got married at the young age of 23 and she gave birth to a baby boy this very year... Jolene got married too... Ramond wife gave birth to a baby ger... congrats to all..

Dar sent a vase of flowers to my office for Valentine Day and gave me a pendant... We spent a night at Costa Sands, Sentosa enjoying some good moments between ourselves... We went to Malacca for holidays... 3 times this year... after all that is the best we can get, that is far away enough from SIngapore yet close enough to Singapore.. get the idea?? We also went up to Port Dickson in July.. staying at Avillion, Premium Water Chalet... superb!!! Nice room, and a 24 hours swimming pool.. me and dar both enjoyed ourself very much on that trip... Me & dar, Zhaowei & Lily went up together in 2 different cars to Fraser Hills about 1 month after our Port Dickson trip... Fraser Hill was boring as there is nothing much to be done there anyway.. slogan for the trip ended with "Dun be surprised" becoz nothing can be expected from that tiny little hill anyway...but the trip was fun because of the people we went with..... Me, dar, my parents, my bro and his gf went together to Genting in September... the trip was a good one.. even though that was our second trip to Genting this year.. we didnt do much except roam around the usual places and do some charity to the casino..my auntie came up from KL to look for us for a chit chat session at Starucks whereas my bro, his gf and my cousins went to the theme park... 1 mth later, dar and his frenz went to Genting again.. without me this time.. went up, gambled, come back.. never even sleep... super man... but ok la.. me and my gerfrenz went to K-Box at Orchard Cineleisure and sang until late.. hahaha... We went to Cameron Highlands for a short getaway...that comclude the last trip for this year..

My beloved grandpa passed away beginning of December.. ending his desperate struggle for life ever since he was diagnoised with the final stage of cancer... writing and thinking about it now.. it is barely a full month since he passed away... but it seems like ages has passed since he was buried under the ground... I missed him still... whenever i see a elder outside, they will remind me of my grandpa.. but I am sure I will move on and time will heal my wounds... but I will surely remember him forever inside my heart..

I went to my first ever concert at Singapore Indoor Stadium on the 29th December 2007... Liang Jing Ru's concert... I like her songs... but the concert was quite boring la.. since I am not a particular fan of her... Dar got the tickets for free when he brought his Cybershot phone so both of us thought we might as well go take a look rather than to let the tickets go to waste... dun think I will ever want to spend the money to listen to a concert again... after all, there isnt a particular singer that I really adore...

That should end my summary for the year 2007.. After all today is the last day oredi!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE..

ONE MORE MONTH!!

OH MY GOODNESS..

It is exactly one month to THE DAY!!...

Hmm.. mixed feelings now.. hahha..

It is like you have waited so long for it.. especially when all the preparations have started such a long time ago.. (I think my countdown timer started 4 mths ago lo)

And now it is finally down to the last month...

Hmm.. weird...

Anyway I think we are more or less done with the preparations..

What we have done so far
- Met up with the solemniser MR Koh Kok Weng last Wed 19th December 2007 to sign the consent form
- E-filed on 20th December 2007
- Went out with Xiang Ling on 22th December 2007 to buy all the DIY stuffs for the Ang Bao box...
- Ordered my bridal bouquet
- Sent out invitations to all the guests
- Ordered red wine
- Brought dar's suit
- Booked actual day photographer
- Booked make-up artist
- Collected ring pillow
- Brought a pen holder

Now we are left with
- Delivery of our furniture
- Collect the red wine
- Collect my MTM tea dress
- Collect the bridal photos
- Collect wrist corsages for Xiang Ling & Sui Hui
- Confirm final guest list and arrangements with hotel
- Collect the neccessary documents from ROM
- Buy my bridal accessories & shoes
- Buy the remaining DIY stuffs & guestbook
- Manicure & Pedicure

Have I missed out anything?

This Sat Is Happening...

Yah boy... This Sat is going to be damn happening.

Me and dar going to watch Liang Jing Ru concert... Dar got the tickets for free when he brought his K810. First concert i ever attend and first time stepping into the indoor stadium..

Then i am thinking of changing my old fashioned Nokia 7610 for a Samsung U600. On Saturday too... Just having a hard time deciding between the traditional black or the more modern and young yet easily dirty white...

Opposites..

One of my best mates just fallen out of love..

He is very upset

I tried very hard to console him...

But there is nothing much I can do...

I can't really feel the way he is feeling...

Becoz I am getting married in 1 mth time..

He told me he will give me all his blessings.. but he would not attend my solemnization.. I can understand why...

Becoz seeing me getting married just add on to his pain..

Christmas Eve

Logged in to MSN tonight.. only 4 frenz online.. 3 of which are away..

I guess most of the people must be out with frenz for Christmas Eve celebrations...

However I am at home tonight... nothing to feel sad about..

In fact, I am quite enjoying this peacefulness and quietness...

No need to squeeze with idiotic people who like to stand in the middle of the pavement..

No need to talk on top of my voice just to chit chat with my frenz..

Haven't enjoy some time to myself for a long time.. today is a well deserved break..at least for once my brain have some space to breathe..

Tired...

Felt very tired suddenly...

Everyone is asking me if the wedding preps are too much to handle.. surprisingly I took it like a breeze... I am someone that make decisions easily when I get the say of things... well trained from my past operations / managerial positions...

However it is not the wedding preps that are tiring me out.. it's the parents... I would like to blame it on generation gaps... i made a mistake that cant be undone... my gal frenz made the same mistake but surprisingly the outcome is very different in both situations...

Somehow like what some of my frenz say, it is either parents or ur say.. there can never be something in the middle... so true.. sometimes I asked myself "what have I gotten myself into"... a tug and pull war game?

I can't understand... what should I do,or what should I have done?

Maybe it's wrong to get married...

Ultimately I just want to lead a simple and sweet married life with my future hubby.. one in which I get to see him everyday when I wake up in the morning... get to see him when I come home late and tired from work... one in which i get to grumble to him about work... and he would console me by giving me a hug in return...

I wish I could just throw everything aside and run away to a far far place with no worries and problems... I wish I could just wipe all the unhappy memories and unhappiness away from my brain...

After my ah gong funeral, I realised he love my grandma so much but he would still have to leave her alone when he passed on... then what's the point of getting married? To spend the remaining days of your life together? How many days would that be?? Ultimately both will be seperated by death.. till death do us part...

I wish at this point I have finally realised the logic of letting go... to truly let go, you have to forgo everything in life including family and your loved ones... and realise the fact that you come into this world with nothing and you would leave this world with nothing... but would anyone will able to survive in this world with nothing? I cant let go...

Time to heal

I am hurting inside out...

I am sure time will heal me of my wounds...

I am sure time will allow me to forget and move on

All I need is time...

Farewell, Ah Gong

Always Remembering You, my beloved Ah Gong
(4th December 2007)

I have 3 Ah Gongs. One passed away when I was young, one passed away dunno how many years ago..(I dun even bother to remember the date he died becoz he was nv nice to me anyway).. and the only Ah Gong that is close to me passed away last Tuesday 4th December 2007. I know he is seriously ill, in fact I know he is going to die... but still the news of his death still came as an deep impact..

When I was young and staying over at my ah gong's place, I used to wake up damn early in the morning.. whenever the cock starts to call around 5.30am in the morning.. that is usually the time my ah gong will go to the market to buy veggies as well as have coffee and dim sum with his frenz.. and he will always hold my hands and bring me along with him.. even though I have no idea what he and his frenz were speaking about then,I always followed him down town to have coffee and dim sum..

When I went overseas to study, he forked up his savings to help with my expenses. Before I went overseas, he gave me a huge ang bao.. That is the reason why after I started working, I insisted on giving him an ang bao everytime I go back.. but too bad I didnt have the chance to give him a lot before he got bedridden and seriously ill...

When he has his operaton in KL, I took emergency leave to go up to KL to take care of him overnight... I knew I have to do something for him.. and he kept asking me to sleep in the middle of the night.. even though he was too uncomfortable to sleep himself..

When I got to know the news on Tues evening, I was damn regretful that I didnt go up to see him over the weekend.. and he passed on with no one by his side... I booked my bus ticket for this weekend.. but too bad he couldnt wait till then... and I thought he could wait... but I was wrong... I don't care what other people have to say, I know myself I have to do something for him... after all he is the closest Ah Gong I ever had... and his death was the first one ever in my life that I feel how sad it is to lose a loved one...

Tues night, I rushed back to my ah gong's place together with the rest of my aunties, uncles and cousins... I didnt cry that night after seeing his body... but for the few nights, I sat beside his coffin burning papers for him.. hoping he will move on smoothly...

On the second last night, they were doing rituals for ah gong, there was a huge thunderstorm with lightings outside while I was inside sitting besides my ah gong coffin buring papers.. there was a blackout... for that moment, I thought he is back to see me... I started crying... everyone else did.. becoz we all know ah gong's wishes are not being fulfilled.... and I know one of them is mine... my wedding is just 1 mth plus away and he couldnt wait for me to announce the good news to him... I didnt tell him.. becoz I know if I were to tell him, he will try to pull through to January and he is already very sick, ill and in so much pain... and it hurts me too much to see him try and pull himself through just becoz of me.. I told him that day and it started raining... I know he blamed me for not telling him.. but it is too late now...

On the day of the funeral, I was sobbing the whole way through... everyone was asking me to let him go.. but I can't... from a healthy man, I see him become ill and skinny... to him dead in the coffin and now I have to send him off into the ground..and all I have is a picture of him in the house... that is just too much for me to take... I still cant believe he is dead... I havent done enough for him yet... I havent fulfil his wishes for me... and it is too late for me to do anything now... now that he is gone..

He got himself a nice funeral ground.. overlooking the sea high up on the hilltop... I am sure he has met up with his parents as well as my second uncle who has passed on... and I am sure he is enjoying himself now... I told him to take good care of himself.. now that we can't look out for him anymore... I am sure he will be looking out for us from heaven or wherever he is..

Always Remembering You... my beloved Ah Gong...