Sick AGAIN..

Haiz.. I noe I noe.. I was just sick a couple of weeks ago... now I am sick again.. I tell u horz.. when ur sickness haven't fully recovered and U start to push the body to work again.. the likely thing is U will fall sick again... That's ME!! Haha.. poor me... toopidz nose keep on running like water tap non stop, toopidz fever and headache switching on and off... How pathetic can I be to rely on swallowing panadol every single minute of the day...

I was alright the day b4 thou... then it suddenly came.. out of the blue..... must be the herbal chicken that I ate.. oh my god.. can it be that toopidz illness that U get from eating infected chickens?? Guys U better stay away from me.. haha... and I still got one mth to survive before I can go for my next holiday... how am I looking forward to it man....

The last true holiday that I went was like to Tioman in May or June last yr.... I mean true holidays in terms that I actually get to sit down and do nothing for the entire day and not stressing myself out or rushing anyway.... coounting back... comng to one yr liao lo... after that in Sept I went back to OZ but that was a very rushed trip... I spent my days travelling on the car rushing my dad from attractions to attractions, shopping centres to shopping centres.... from Brisbane to Toowoomba to Gold Coast then back to SG to start work the very next day. We stayed in Brisbane for one day so within that one day I got to bring him around every significant attraction that is nearby our hotel.. Toowoomba 2 days.. one full day for graduation and one full day travelling to and fro... Gold coast was the same thing.. then I went back to my grandma's place in Batu Pahat.. that was a rushed trip too for 2 days... rushed down in the early mrning to avoid the jam.. back to grandma's place... chit chat chit chat visiting visiting... then slp... then mrning wake up.. brekky plus lunch and back to SG again.. haha...

I am going on 2 seperate trips this time.. a 3 days 2 nights trip to KL which is to pray mainly.... so one day will be spent on travelling, one day to pray and one day to travel back to SG. Haha.. that is what I call a TRIP.... u spent ur time travelling to and fro.... and I got to try and squeeze in time to meet up with my frenz from OZ who I am very close with and in KL at the moment... and my cousins so we could go party and drink... hehezzzz... then I will be going to Bangkok with my darling... b ecoz it is his birthday and we dun have that much money to go Banyan Tree so we decide to go Bangkok instead... But that is a shopping trip so we will be hitting the shopping centres too... no rest again.... oh my god... life is always like that.. u rush from one thing to another.. the only time u stop is when U retire or when U are dead.... ya and now they are pushing the retirement age to 72 so I got to work for another additional 10 yrs before I get to retire... how crap... from 55 to 62 to 72... a total different of 17 yrs... and I am just 22 now... to work until 72... argghhhh I got to work another 50 yrs.. ya and I get to retire and probably spend my rest of the days in an old folks hotel singing and chit chatting with other guests of the hotel... (I think old folks home will probably change to old folks hotel by then..sounds nicer)... I hope I will give birth to a gd son or daughter who will let me live in a condo or bungalow, take me out for expensive dinners... and continue to travel thou... provided I can still walk by then...

Thoughts....

Too much free time on my hand ba I guess.. actually got things to do but dun wish to do them.... P&L analysis report.. haiz... see the invoices also sianz.... my sweet darling is in the army ma now doing his first reservist so I am all alone out there... with no where to go and no money to shop... since pay is not out yet until 2 days later...

Went to read some of my frenz friendster testimonials... some married liao... surprising how every frenz of mine in poly or from IRC think I will be the first one among everybody else to get married and now... thousands of my frenz are getting married ahead of me.. haha... yah... all my frenz thought since my relationship has been running for 6 yrs liao... I shld be the first one to give out wedding invitations... how I hope so.. haha.. but anyway... my cousins and frenz have all gotten married in front of me... and they look so SWEET together.. damn it.. I am jealous.. very jealous... and some even have babies liao... I went back to my grandma place and one of my cousins brought her new born babygal back for me to see.. they look so happy and sweet together.... with the baby hugging both her mummy and daddy.. haiz... and the toopidz baby called me auntie... arghh.. couldn't get over it... seriously thinking back.. I also wan to get married.. for now... that is my thinking for now.. maybe 5 mins later it will be different again.. haha.. mind always confused ma.. hehe.. get the chance to choose my wedding ring... wedding gown.. select my wedding venue... go for my honeymoon... take wedding photos... but too bad... my grandpa passed away last yr so accordingly to chinese traditions I got to wait 3 yrs before having any weddings.. hahaha...

Anyway me and my bf decide to get a pair of rings for Valentine Day this yr... so we went around looking for nice ones... and they are all so expensive!!!! a nice pair of wedding bands cost like $1200++ bucks...!!!!! Can U believe it??????? OH MY GOD and the cheapo ones are so damn ugly and plain.... kaos..... headache sia...

Me & My BF

No time no TIME!!!

Oh man.. I got too many things on my "to do" list sia... I dun even think if I dun slp I got time to finish or even start.... first of all work already take up like 10 hrs of my day... including the time to travel to and from work... plus handing over shifts and doing minor paperworks.... then I got my major paperworks like payrolls and analysis reports to do and update.... ok plus and minus 12 hrs... haha.. what else can I do.. Sufficient sleep.. min 8 hours.. I still got eh... 4 hrs left in a day... haha...

I want to take up swimming lessons.. basically I already signed up but I can't slot my lesson into any of the available timeslots.. becoz my timetable go mrning and night... crazy timetable... can't fix a time.. then I wanna take up dancing classes.. haha.. surprise surprise... salsa or R&B dance.. then I wanna to learn piano le.. ok.. 3 different classes in a week... give it one lesson per week... where got time??? So I say... humans huh.. no money complain no money cannot do anything... got money no TIME to spend... I dun even have time to go shopping other than my off day.. which is spent on trying to compensate the lacking amount of sleep accummulated from work and trying to cure my panda eyes.... @_@. I need to look for a better job... not necessary with a better pay thou.. but wah liao.. got better pay who dun wan... but I dun have time to go through the ads on the website... what I got time.. take a peek at the Classifieds... no jobs ok close... back to work... how to look?? Haha.. I brought a new book... called "what went wrong in love". Read the first page.. now already sitting on my printer starting to accumulate dust liao... poor book...

Last week took 2 days leave.. wanna to clear up all the things... in the end spent one whole day clearing and cleaning my room and wardrode... another day shopping... and one off day accompanying my frenz who is flying back to Australia the next day.. in the end play mahjong until 6am in the mrning sia... one day just fly by like that......... sad sad... i hope my list of "to do" will stop for now.... this year got too many things to do and too many places to travel liao... haha...

Memories...

Todae on my way to work.. I saw this guy who really look very much like my ex bf... suddenly memories start flooding back in my brains... this ex bf of mine is the first guy I really like... I think I was abt 14 that yr... He is not perfect... but somehow I just fall heads over heels with him... He was the first guy who I brought to meet my parents... but my parents surely wasn;t happy to see him.. haha... He was a AH BENG... he was there smoking in front of my parents.. and his wearing... oh my god.... But after he went into the Boys Home, we lost contact.. on the day he was supposed to come out.. I called him and a gal saying to be his gf picked up the phone... I mean all along I noe he wasn;t serious and he has like tons of gfs behind my back.. but still.. silly of me right?? But really give me a chance I would really like to meet up with him once... dun have to sit down and chit chat over a cup of coffee or anything... just look and know what he is doing now..? Is he doing well now.. or still the same old fellow going in and out of jail.. I will be happy enough... when I saw the look alike guy todae.. I nearly thought it was him... but too bad it wasn't.... not to say if I still have feelings for him though... becoz oh come on.. it has been like so long ago... 8 yrs.... just missing ba i guess....

Easily Contented...

I did some editing on my blogskin.. add in background music, change the fonts and colours, add in scrolling text at the bottom.. not too bad huh... for someone who noe nuts abt HTML stuffs... so happy... feel that big sense of achievement...

U noe what.. love is actually just so simple... I dun need a 10 carat diamond, a condo or bungalow, a ferrari car or some expensive dinner at a restaurant to be happy u noe.. Just a simple hug is enough.. haha.. when I need it la of coz... I was sick the other day... my bf was all over me... for the first time in my life and my relationship with him... i felt pampered.... last time there was this guy frenz of me... who I am very close with.. he also pamper me alot... like I am a princess.... when I am sick.. he will send me medicine.. buy things for me to eat... keep on asking if I am alright... blu blu blu... like very scared i will just faint in front of him.. i like that feeling... in fact who dun..?? every gers wish to be pampered like a princess dun they..? Of coz not everyday la.. u will get irritated after a while.. and of coz not too extreme la.. I have seen extreme cases... who the ger basically dun even have to walk or stand.. the guy basically just lift her off the ground... kaos... that is too protective ba.. haha... Ok back to me.. I was sick.. and we were taking a cab home 6+ am in the morning from a frenz house... he noe I was cold.. so he was there hugging me and trying to keep me warm by rubbing me and stuffs... so sweet isn't it..? And he hugged me to slp... and went out to buy breakfast for me.. fish porridge... cooll.... that was sweet to me.. Although like most of the guys will do that to their gfs ba.. I guess.. haha... not so much to boast abt anyway... hehe... sounds true...

Anyway.. we went shopping todae.. brought a pink scarf and a new cup for tea and milo in the mrning... haha... actually wanna buy a tank top and a white pearly bag but... after trying on the tank top.. I realise it doesn't really look that gd as compared to on the model.. haha... it is too plain... and the colour look old.. haha... anyway I believe I will be able to find more...

Disgusting, Selfish and Idiotic World

Haha.. I found a new skin.. really like my new skin now.. at least my blog look nicer..... and more different....

I am terribly sick todae... in fact I have been sick for a very long time and for the past few days..... after surviving for like coming to one year.. I finally decide to compromise my principles and take a MC from work.. last time I always can't bear to see my managers running full shift from morning to night.... that is why I die die also drag my feets go work... others managers always mc and I go help them to work full shift... damn toopidz of me... but guess what.. In the morning at around 7+.. I got a call asking me to go work earlier... supposed to start at 12... damn fucked up right.. I am sick hello..?? do anyone careszz.. ok say will find for me a replacement in the afternoon so that I can rest.. in the end... I ended up working full shift myself becoz there is no fucking managers to replace me... this world is damn idiotic... ppl mc I work.. I mc still I work myself... and the toopidz manager just went off like that.. dun even care whether I will faint in her shop... damn frustered... still angry now... now I finally realise how selfish can humans be.. it is always me to myself... only toopidz idiots like me will help others thinking that when I need help.. ppl will also turn around and help me... I must learn how to be more selfish in oorder to survive in the harsh environment and not be taken advantage of.... I am always too kind.. always help help help in the end ownself die also noone bother..

There is so many things in life that I wun wish to compromise or entertain but somehow I am just not used to saying NO... can every1 just back off.. I just wish to be left alone... I am sick.. can't I even have the right to stay at home and lie in bed waiting for tomolo to come.... there is sentosa... mahjong.. dinner... supper... KTV.... drinking........... thousands of entertainment... dun ppl just noe how to ask.....??? Are u Alright? Do u wan to stay at home and rest since U ARE BLOODY SICK?? Mum is still the best.. cook porridge for me...

Sad Thoughts...

Tired, Angry, Disappointed & Upset... when all the different feelings got mixed together.. it only result in one thing: blankness and denial... that is actually what is happening now to me... I dun wish to think and dun wish to talk... especially dun feel like forcing myself to smile or laugh.........

I got so angry at work today.. but me being me.. I will nv scold someone.. but the scolding will be written all over my face... my face will look damn black... it is so clear until U are a woodblock... and keeping all that underneath make my moods accummulate.. and with that it snowball and become bigger... resulting in me showing my temper on ppl who totally have no relations with what causes the problem..... normally ppl just back off.. which is the total clever move... becoz I just need some space to quiet down... and think properly.....

I thought with 6 yrs.. understanding will be deep... but I guess I am wrong... actually understanding at my side I realise is little too... so who can I blame..? I admire ppl who get married after a 1 or 2 yrs relationship... they think they are made for each other..... are they?? how deep is their understanding of each other..?? How well do they noe each other?? I really doubt it.... if they are really made for each other... from the bottom of my heart I wish them all the best..... really... there are couples outside who got married not even knowing each other and they are able to hold hands until they die... I admire them.... but nowadays there are more and more couples getting married after 1 or 2 mths or yrs and their relationships nv last... even with my 6 yrs relationship.. until now.. I think it is still shaky... what is 1 or 2 yrs??? really b4 u get married.. u shld really ask urself the ulitmate qns... do U really think U are made for one another??? It is a bond forever..... no longer a relationship that U can step in and out of.. it comes with even more responsibilities, honestly, committment, sharing, care and concern, trust blu blu blu..... there will be cars, houses, money and even babies to worry about.... it will no longer be the "Oh darling, today I am free.. let go out for dinner, watch a movie, shopping and go home.. I will call u when I reach home and we chit chat until we are tired and go slp..". It will nv be as simple as that.... as much as I admire marriage... I dun think I will be brave and ready enough to go into it... for the fear that my perfect relationship be spoilt...

In a period of 6 yrs... u would think that lots of things would have grown with it... the relationship, the trust, the understanding of each other, the care and concern blu blu blu... but frankly I dun see that happening.... be it I am negative... to me.. It seems to be more stagnant than growing... haha... I must be crazy... so I say sometimes when humans hold on to something for too long.. it will be taken for granted... becoz U have the maximum of what U can have... there is nothing to grow from it anymore.. just like a tree that have grown to its max height.. no matter how u stretch it.. it will still be that tall... back to square one always........... that is the problem of a long term relationship.... everyone go thru the same pharse I guess... or is it just me?????????